Betul dari apa yang aku baca sebelum sebelum ni..........yang lelaki suka dilayan macam kanak2 or anak2 kecil....sangat manja dan kadang2 mengada2, suka cemburu tapi cukup bosan kalo awek dorg yg kuat cemburu, kuat mengongkong tapi tak suka di kongkong, suka bebel tapi cukup fed-up kalo awek dorg yg bebel....nak makan slipar ker??.......iya betul...tak tipu.

Hehe...it's quiet complicated relation between man's and women......I still trying to figure out what make a person can attrack to other person which soon will became his/their other-half. And pattern some of their boyfriend ni lebih kurang sama ngan dorg punya X-BOY yg sbelum2 nih.......hmmmm. Adakah itu takdir??? Might be...might be not!!!

But for me my BF ni is absolutely and totally difference ngan semua BOY yang pernah aku rapat sebelum ni. He's also out of a person which i imagine to became my boyfriend. Even Ajib pun sama ngan muka bdk freelance Shah Alam yg tak-berapa-nak-menjadi-balak aku dulu tu.
OK out off that question for awhile.

Aku giler membaca buku sekarang ni.......One on my hand is READING LOLITA IN TEHRAN, from Professor Azar Nafisi. At first 50 page of these book is hell too boring, but than it's became more OK side of it then......quiet interesting. I`ll take it as i attend Dr. Manohar class which we has to learn how to gave critics to JOURNAL........ What i was trill and a bit puzzle is the cronology of Islamic Rezolution of Pahlavi family (sekarang dibawah lindungan suaka politik di Perancis) which i think one day if no action taken will hunt our own country. The political problem, the corruption amongst misruled, penyalahgunaan kuasa oleh org yg mempunyai kuasa goverment for example.....menyebab dan menggalakkan rakyat untuk melakukan bantahan at first secara diam...and lastly it will became like confrontation and rusuhan and bla bla.....

Its easy as kerajaan harus mendengar suara hati rakyat. Siapalah kerajaan kalo memerintah tanpa rakyat........ Sama ngan memansuhkan AUKU.....and some of artikel which i read through newspaper mengatakan yg pelajar sekarang dah kurang kualiti banding pelajar dulu2 tahun 80-an zaman MCKK and what ever bla bla... Nak ada kualitinyer kebenda kalo hak ktrg bersuara disekat....kalo berpolitik kearah pembangkang sikit dah diugut dibuang Universiti.... So whats your choise then. And most important thing is kalo pelajar dulu2 tu berkualiti...what the hell with those rasuah berleluasa, gila kuasa, menggunakan hak untuk kepentingan diri.......tanpa memikirkan akibat pada org lain.... Bukankah org dulu2 yang membenttuk apa yg jadi pada ktrg sekarang nih.....hah jawab la....???

Org sekarang dah semakin buta....buta nak menilai mana satu benar dan mana satu salah. There`s too many hipocrite people...especially in politic,it's totally hard to judge.......prove me if i`m wrong.

So my next list TO-READ books is from Robert Ludlum....THE ROAD TO OMAHA........gtg

Hari yg sgt mem'BLUR'kan.....pandang kanan Uma ntah hilang ke mana, pandang kiri Epi pun tak datang kerjer, pandang belakang si ijan nun dah kat terengganu.........hah..left me alone here by myself. Nak keluar ngan BF pun dia dah 'berhangen' gegiler dgn diriku ini.....harharhar. Maka, i'll stayed here all by myself. Syahmi cuti hari ni, so dia dtg UPM ajak Krol teman dia pg MAHA. Actually, aku pun nak pg MAHA, tapi dah janji nak ge ngan BF, better i stick with him, otherwise he will chopped me like a chicken.


Well, funny things happen to me, kat TV famous ngan PROMO filem susuk, ala yang..."Cu tolong nenek nyanyikan satu lagu!!!!" ... than aku selalu balas balik sambil menyanyikan lagu NEGARAKU..... haha funny right!! Sambil dgn angkuhnya cakap....har diri la...diri laa... So start from than dah 5 hari straight tido aku tak lena, than mimpi yg pelik2 dan ntah hapa2 sangat, termasuk la pg td, aku mimpi ada something like Zombie serang family ktrg kat kampung, memang bermati-matian aku ngan ayah berperang ngan Zombie tu....bila bangun dari tido jerr dah letih seksgt mcm lari round padang.

Semalam punya mimpi pun ngeri gak...... travel mcm lam cerita KING KONG plus CROCADILE DUNDEE. Aku duduk ditengah2 paya than ada crocadile tgh aim nak ngap aku... hiiiii takut tau, pastu aku dah berjaya lari, then tetiba jatuh dari atas pokok gorilla yg garang gegiler datang serang aku...after that aku dah terjaga dari tido, dgn perasaan yg sgt takut. Itu belum lagi bab mimpi umah lama nenek, aku tgh relex kat tangga, bila tersedar jer dari tido terus aku teringat nak balik kampung, than in the sudden i just realise than HALLO, umah nenek tu mana ada lagi, umah tu kan dah roboh........after that... I CRY.


Ha...padan muka, memain lagi ngan somthing like that, ko tu dah la lemah semangat..... Actually sebelum ni, I mean when i was in high school la, I was so tough ngan benda2 ghaib OR alam yg lain ni. Kalo org lain kena kaco, aku musti steady giler, even masa kat KMR dulu aku duduk kat bilik 303, aku selalu kena tinggal sensorg lam bilik tu. Rupa2 nyer kakak faci yg duduk sebilik ngan aku tu tak balik bilik sebab tak tahan malam2 dia selalu dengar org ketuk pintu nak masuk. Sampai tahap dia demam. Walhal, aku relex jer lam bilik tu....takder saper nak kaco. Pas 2 tahun blok aku tu dijadikan blok lelaki, bdk lelaki tu pun kena kaco gak, siap kena ubah katil lagi, terus dia dah tak tido bilik tu sampai ke sudah................

It all start bila aku, lan, CT, fuad duduk kat umah ibu masa tahun satu degree ....RUMAH PAHANG kat Cameroon Highland. CT yang kena kaco memulanyer, last2 ngan aku sekali dia usik....sakit betul hati aku. Suruh si Fuad ngan Lan sentri, bleh bdk 2 ekor ni ge bantai tido siap berdengkur ngan mengigau bercakap yg bukan2.......tension betul aku. Aku bengang, aku amek Yasin than aku baca tetengah malam tu. FED UP betul, dah la ktrg baru leps Daki Gng Brinchang........besoknyer nak Daki Gng Berembun........benda ni boleh cari pasal ngan aku, mana tak berangin satu badan aku ni dah la letih, tak bleh tido lak tu. Tapi tak berhasilpun pembacaan Yasin aku tu....sebab tak amek air semayang. hehe. Than ibu datang rescue aku yg tgh tension membaca Yasin tu. Than dia suruh tido, dia janji benda tu tak kaco lagi...... Ala benda tu kaco sampai ker sudah, sampai subuh baru OK.


Pas balik daki gng berembun, time ktrg nak berkemas nak balik, ibu datang bertanya apa kes yg semalam tu. Masa tu lan ngan Fuad berkhemas kat bilik dorg, aku nga CT tido kat ruang tamu, almaklum la...bayarpun murah. hehe.... Rerupanya yg ganggu semlm tu panjaga umah ni, umah Pahang jugak selalu menjadi Umah persinggahan Sultan Pahang kalo bercuti kat Cameron. Patut la siti cakap ada org pakai baju kuning halau dia keluar..... aku tak nampak tapi aku dapat rasa, struggle gak aku ngan benda tu sebab time dia tarik kaki aku than aku melawan, buktinyer, bila chek jer kaki aku dah biru gegiler. HHmmmm mistik tul. Nak lebih mistik pas balik daki gunung, ktrg tido sekejap sebab letih, Fuad, Ct ngan Lan bermimpi benda yang Exactly sama, kecuali aku yg mimpi lain sikit dari dorg................i`ll kept it as my secret.

So, moral from that story, takder moral aper2 pun.....just hati2 lah memilih umah tumpangan. Kalo korg ni tak der hati dan perasaan...baik korg tanya awal2 kepada tuan umah tu...tanya cam ni...."Makcik umah ni ada hantu tak???....saya ni lemah semangat!!" Biar jujur. Jgn menyusahkan diri sendiri.


So start dari kejadian itu, kalo aku masuk hutan, kuasa keberanian aku ni dah semakin berkurangan. Kalo daki gunung dolo2 yg selalu kena attack si Finie ngan CT(Wajib!!)....Sekarang mangsa dah semakin bertambah iaitu AKU...hehe. Dia Menyanyi tepi telinga la.......tetiba jer zappp...dah kat sebelah aku, mana tak mencicit aku lari, hampeh tul!! Kalo dolo2 nak ge buang air kecil lam hutan 2 org pun ...jalan....sekarang 4 org pun aku takut lagi..... mana tak nyer...tetiba jer...bayang2 warna putih rambut lurus....nyeettt...lalu depan aku, cancel terkucil. Sanggup biar batu karang.

Haha...enought bubbling from me....

I'll Be ....totally MAD

Duhhh....
I`m so spechless today....aarrgghhh god help me!! huh...the story is like these.I was totally in my monday boring mood....so i jump website....jump...jump...read...jump again...then duh!!....got to Between My leg...blogspot....who`s the hell these man is.....oh malaysian....oouuwww ooo engku emran...the famous man maried to Era fazira la.... than see his diary...jeng jeng jeng. His going to Junn wedding which is his staff yesterday at seri kembangan. The date was on sunday...and that means the wedding was on saturday...cool yeah...i`ll tried to figure out from suria fm wedsite but the hell gateway timeout has come out. I think my body cell was tranforms to became a hulk hogens lady...... I do...even no one have ever seen it... damn i'm in the hell out of me... i can proof it.!!!

I msg my BF and ask what the hell happen here....u said ur cousin wedding. The wedding`s held at bangi....are u trying u fishy out with me... i know you have no cousin in bangi.....but i just shut my mouth up because i think that was your privacy and i`m respect u, maybe you wants time with your family......than duh...drama...drama...and drama... got it.....i'm sick of it.....

Please laaa....if you don't wants me to attend you sister's wedding...just discussed it with me. Just say it. I think i have no probs with that...... but what makes me sooooo.....hotty absolutely angry here is.... u don't even gave me much space for me to enjoy mylife either....(I'm gonna cry right now!!) U controlled me 24/7, you controlled with whom i should go out.......u controlled at what time i should reach home...... I'm not the easy-stupidity-kampung gurls la....i have life....i have friends .......i knows my friends much longer than i know you.......they are more like my family than you ....to be honest.

Everyweek my friends ask me to join their recreation activities ....kayaking, water rafting, camping, even i have to cancel my trip to candat sotong and utmostly travell to indonesia to climb mount merapi and see candi borobodur, i have to cancel all around because i know u won't aloud me to go...because what...because i love you. For God sake.......... U didn`t even respect my self or even respect my vision in life.....what u know....u just want everything according to what your thinking.....u never ask whether i`m hurt or not.........but i`m absolutely hurt right now.
i have to change my life to 360 degree after meet you, i have to stay home waiting for your called, if you felt boring than u will call me, if not than i have to stay surround those stupid wall.......or stayed 10km around my house, so when u need me, i`d be just READY to go.
Huh..more like i'm stayed in militry school.

huh.......enough for today......i've really got headache.

I got BLUES...

I`ve totally got no idea what i`ve done these week. I`ve more likely to run from something, but i donno what kind of thing that chase me. I blurred and scare.......but i donno off what? Life seem like a hell.... even i never been there....uuurrrrhhhhggggg....damn it.



I hate when, something which wrong happen surround me but what i can do was just nothing. Hate hypocrite person, hate them a lot. How could god gave them live in these world. Mess my head around by thinking of them....dduuuhhhh......

A person like me will always think life is unfare.... i still do think that way....... huh

My Vocation in Life

ASSIGNMENT 1

(Research Methodoly in Chemistry)

I still can remember when my Standard 1 teacher Cikgu Rosnani asks me what I want to be, and on the sport without thinking I said, I want to be a doctor. Then she asks me again what kind of doctor that I want to be? I gave her a blank and pulse face-rescue-me for that answer.

Life goes by; my interest’s changes as the wind blow me. Sometime I want to be lawyer; next day is to be police inspector, change to business women and to name a few. Until I reach my step to university and studied Forestry, I still don’t know what the best for me. For my parents, they just left the decision on me. They don’t want to push me to be what they want me to be, but at the end I led them down. So for them ‘I guide my own way’.

After finish my Degree, as all my friend did, is to find a job. Got a very hectic and crucial day to find a job, that make me just grab whatever that passes in front of my way. My housemate asks me whether I’m interest to be a research assistant (RA). I reply as, I will try. I have no job, and I have and should try it.

After a year now, the way I handle myself, the way I handle my job and the way I handle people surround me; make me think that these is what I want in life and these is what I wanted to be. My job has train me to be a tough, brave, mature, and independent young lady, that who has a higher respect to herself.

People will think research as no big deal. Just follow what your supervisor said. Yes! It’s true. But what happen if your supervisor is the Director of one institute, such as busy like hell. No time for you, no time for stupid or any tiny mistake. Only stayed two weeks in Malaysia and other week he will travel all around the world. UK, India, Thailand, China, London, Austria…..bla..bla..bla… Sometime you have to follow him in the meeting with Director, CEO, Datuk, Datin, Professor, Doctor, and only you are the one which is “research assistant”.

From the first day I became a researcher, I’ve learn like a kindergarden kids. Learn all sort of chemical, learn how to titrate, learn to try an error-thousand time, and my supervisor always strict us to take responsible for what you’ve done. One mistake, he will mumble and bubbling for the pass 2 hour of the meeting, till your ear and face will become hot and spicy.

Look back to my childhood year, when people ask me what I want to be? I`ll answer it as to be a doctor. What kind of a doctor? Now I have the answers. A doctor which do a research job.

My LoVe one!!!!!

B & Abang

LovE oF My life

Never thought that i will fine you,

Never felt soo secure when we are apart,

Never been happy, as we enjoy life together,

never felt needed as I need u soo much,

Never felt LOVE as i love U soo much....

Mwuah!!