A Melancholy.....Norman Mailer

I've never felt so lonely... so out of space...

I when back from my kampung this tuesday. My bus suppose to stop at Bukit Jalil somehow the driver chnge his mind and they just droped us in front of Dayabumi KL at 3pm , luckily one of the passanger do asked whether they stopped at Bukit Jalil, if not i might probably stand out of the bus and realised i'm at Seremban or maybe Melaka to where the bus is heading...... tottally headache.!! Whatever... i just had enought time and can't even face more.... i just step out of the bus and said nothing.

CHANGE my schedule instantly.... with a little bit spinning head. I think maybe make a tour around KOTARAYA will help a thing. I miss this place so much... its been like a year or two i've last come to this place. I love the Livin Cabin store near the nando's, its like they just store every goodies there. I love the small tiny ornament and i always bought my DIARY's book there. There's another bag store near the Livin Cabin which sold a signature design beg. There have a very coolest design ever....(I think..)... i do have one of the design myself.. *^O-O^* wink..wink...

I've walked to the CD store beside KOTARAYA to find a new collection of Japanese or Korean CD, somehow the place was closed. i don't know for what the reason... either for a renovation or maybe they've move the store. I don't knew..... i just walk forwarded to Central Market (CM) to find a secondhand book store... love n miss that place so much!! Hope the store and the uncle is still there....!! I just walk to where the store is...somehow its already change with a grocery or something... i'm tottally moan ..!! I just walked followed my step... and then from afar bling...bling... i saw a book stack on each others. Yaahhhooo.... the Indian uncle was stand vividly in front of his store... At least someone has made me happy that day.

I dig all the books there... and see the price inside the book. I will only bought the cheapest book from extra ordinary author... thats my target...hehe..!! Asked the uncle do he has any book on Bernard Cornwell... I bought my first collection of Bernard from this store. Asked Sidney Sheldon... well the price is still RM25 and above....for a secondhand book... not worst a thing...there's alot on Janet Evanovich, Stephen Kings of cozz, Robert Ludlum, and lots more!!

And then stood in the corner.. a poem books from NORMAN MAILER, i've really familiar with this name. Yup... his the man in my Fav Savage Garden song SANTA MONICA. A famous american poetry and film director.... and then just swing in my head in sudden.... On the telephone line i'm a anyone i'm a anything i want to be, a crap crusader a norman mailer  ......Huhu... very synical yet melancholy...do heard this song yourself. Well, I just grabbed the hardcover of Nicholas Evans (My fav' author too)... The Divide.. which only cost me RM14..wallaaa!!

I have no idea, there is a few of guys are really like to have a chat with me which i just ignore everything. Maybe my face suit for a front desk aka kaunter pertanyaan. Quite annoyance sometime. The rain was heavy that evening, heading toward KFC near CM and grab my twisters..... had the blessed evening reading The Divide...hehe..!!

PS:// Tiger Woods slept with 120 women.... wowww.... what are he..?? Misti bnyk sgt mkn pil kuda nih errmmm..???

KAu yanG Bernama CintA

Maaf jika ku tidak sempurna

Tika bahagia mula menjelma

Bila keyakinan dtg merasa

Kasih disalut dengan kejujuran

Mencintai dirimu, Merindui dirimu, Memiliki dirimu

Hingga akhir hayat bersama kamu....

Kau yang bernama cinta

Kau yang memberi rasa

Kau yang ilhamkan bahagia

Hingga Aku rasa INDAH

-Yang Terindah-

I Have no idea how much i love this song, it's really soothe me from deep inside. Really touch me, make me felt happy and free  ...... and release.. like i'm in another place.... stand at the high cliff which has a green grass facing the blue ocean with the wind blow me and the sound of the bird.... it is a nice pleasantly free feeling....KAU yang ILHAM kan BAHAGIA.... i played this over and over again..!!! Hmmm...!!!

LOVE sometime is quite complicated, because we never knew what we want, and often we will never get exactly as what we want it to be...... its like a birthday present or maybe a huge gigantic box which you win for a lucky draw and when you open it, it just a tupperware so you can used it to fill the water which you will never knew when will you used it and for what reason... (mmmm ... still didn't redeem my gift coupon for J card members before 15 MAY) .... you'll never knew what will you get..!!

I always think that if you are hard enought to get what you want... you will appreciated it even more. Like having a LOVE of your life... or maybe a master degree.... a climbing shoe hehe... a harness, a motorcross (so sweet..!!), a nice printed skirt, or maybe just anything that we really love to die for...!! 

DO WE...??? Eermmm... have you knew that human are always forget the hardess part in their life, the struggle that they already face before they get something. The tears that they has to shred for the suffering that they have to gain what they want in their LIFE........ Maybe you guys can start thinking by now... and do APPRECIATED what we have... maybe someday you might lost it..!! U'll never knew...!!!

PS:// MAAF jika KU tidak SEMPURNA...!!!

Baki Tidak Mencukupi

Semalam aku berjaya membeli tiket balik kampung kat LRT Bukit Jalil selepas meminta peta jalan dari ijan aka GPS aku muarghahahaha.....(Aku suka tanya jalan kat kwn aku yg sorank nih, penuh kesabaran menerangkan jln kat aku..!!). Naik bas konsortium apa ntah kul 9.00mlm khamis..... mcm2 aku tanya counter tuh...

Bus nih straight ker KULIM kan?

Dia tak transit jer kan?

Dia masuk Ipoh dulu ker?

Berhenti kat stesen Butterworth tak?? 

Budak pompuan yang jaga kaunter tuh buat slumber dog jer malas nak layan aku agaknya..Nasib baik mood aku baik, kalo tidak memang selamat laa...!! Last2 brother kat sebelah dia yang tolong jawab..... Lantak ler ... dah hak aku sebagai pengguna..!! Aku malas naik bas transit2 nih. Elok2 4-5jam jer nak sampai Kulim dah kena berakar bontot menunggu baru nak sampai..!!

Mula2 aku rancang nak balik kampung hari jumaat atau sabtu. Tapi pas aku cucuk duit kat maybank.... lama aku tunggu naper duit aku tak keluar2..!! Rupa2nya kat screen tuh tulis... MAAF, BAKI WANG ANDA TIDAK MENCUKUPI....Nih misti insurans dah pow duit aku nih.....demmm!!! Terus aku decide balik malam khamis. Dah tak boleh tunggu barang sehari, lebih sehari bermakna wang saku untuk makan akan bertambah plus wang untuk berjoli katak lagi...!! Disamping itu, lemak yg aku bela selama ini akan susut barang sekilo dua..... hek..!! Dalam hati aku sempat memaki-hamun diri sendiri kerana cukup bijak dalam selok belok berbelanja ini.....  Sehari sebelum tuh sempat lagi aku makan besar, ptg lak aku bantai KFC satu set. Ari Sabtu aritu sempat lagi aku bershopping sakan.... Padan MUka .... kan dah tak cukup duit..!! Padan MUKA seksgt.. *0_0* !! Dem.

Harap minyak keta aku cukup untuk aku sampai besok..... Ptg nih cancel pegi wall kt putrajaya, baju kat umah dah dua baldi tak basuh... nak kena ge hantar dobi.... plus minyak keta tak cukup, kang terberenti betul2 kawasan kubur tuh kan naya jer.... !!!.... Chow..!!

PS:// Saper2 nak belanja aku amat dialu-alukan...!!!

FALSAFAH CINTA

CINTA IBARAT KITA MENDAKI GUNUNG

Walaupun osmet kita dah pesan, kalo nak daki gunung kena slalu pg Jogging, kena kawal makan supaya stamina kita ok.... baru la smooth jer naik gunung. Namun mendaki gunung sama mcm cinta, walaupun kita lalu trek yg sama tapi tak bermakna kita akan dapat pengalaman sama cam osmet kita, tak sama cam mamat ensem yg naik gunung ngn kita.... tak sama pengalaman mcm awek cun yg pancit naik gunung walaupun bukan pertama kali dia naik gunung...(mcm kenal jer awek nih..) 

CINTA IBARAT MENJAWAB SOKLAN EXAM

Kepelikkan cinta nih sama juga macam kita menjawab soklan subjectif lam exam. Walaupun kita dah study bagai nak rak early minute atau last minute bersengkang mata sampai subuh, mata dah mcm bola golf .... namun kita still tak leh nak menjawab semua soklan n dapat 100% markah. Pasti kita masih memerlukan khidmat kawan2 kita utk membantu kita meniru hatta membawa toyol(nota kecil) utk memberi sikit keyakinan kita dan sesungguhnya pensyarah kita pasti akan mencari salah kita kat mana2 seperti juga cinta.

CINTA IBARAT MEMBELI MAKANAN DI BAZAAR RAMADHAN

Kita sepatutnya ibaratkan cinta mcm bulan ramadhan..... maksudnya walaupun kita membeli makanan kat bazaar yng rupanya sangat menarik, sangat lah bnyk kuantitinya, indah kilau gemilau hiasannya... namun bila kita nak makan time bebuka baru kita sedar makanan itu takder rasa masin... manis pun tidak...tak dapat dikaji apa rasanya.... malahan sup dia terasa cam air paip kosong... satu badan kita berhangin... tapi oleh sebab dibulan posa... maka kita terpaksa belajar utk BERSABAR...!!

CINTA IBARAT KEDAI JAJAN YG INDAH

Masa kita kecik-kecik kita selalu disogokkan dengan pemandangan kedai yang menjual jajan dan gula-gula yang sangat menarik dan sangat elok bentuknya. Mak ngn ayah kita cukup berbulu dengan minat kita yang satu ini. Kalo tak dibeli pasti kita akan terguling-guling atas lantai sambil meraung sekuat hati sampai lah mak ayah kita beli jajan tora atau dendang kat kita... mahupun membeli set pinggan mangkuk mainan kt kita utk cover malu............ sampai jer kat umah ....SIAP KO...pasti kena libas brg seDAS dua !!! Kita terlalu inginkan apa yg kita inginkan tanpa tahu akibat nya dikemudian hari..... hmmm...??

PS:- MAaf Jika Ku tiDaK sEmpUrnA...

BAD hair day

Someone was mad at me... i was totally sad.... I shouldn't cancel it last minute.

But there's nothing i can do.... it's totally my fault.... i admit it..!!

I'm Suppose to go for a mounteeneerin at Bukit Kutu this Saturday, but happen to cancel it last minute. I knew En.gate was totally mad at me but he act in a very professional way... just me whom act like CACING KEPANASAN...... I have an APRIL reunion with two of my bestfriend which i forgot the date..... :-( !!! . My fault and i admit it..... all i can say is I'M SOO SORRY..!!

Stupid ingredient

Yesterday I'm doing my labwork. BLEACH second stage..!!! I was soo mad when the result is not as what i wanted it to be. To reach this Bleaching stage, i have to do pulping which took at least 4 hours, and then do screening process which at least 2 hours to settle everything, take a moisture content and yield. I need at least two day to make a Kraft Pulp. When come to bleaching stage its even more complicated with the chemical preparation and sort of that. Even a simple and tiny mistake the pulp won't be bleached perfectly... sometime you don't even knew because of why..?? In my research i need 3 stage. One stage for one day.... and 3 days to complete everything. So i've in my second stage... hell it didn't change the colour to be white and bright that mean the Pulp is REJECT. Suck isn't it. I have to re-DO-it  start from Pulping stage....!!

Stupid mixture.... made by stupid me.... i hate it..!!

My final Research Method test is totally suck.... hell yeah..!! Hate the question so much... i still can't figure out what's the right answer. My knee is still hurt badly, especially when i wear my climbing shoe. I soak my t-shirt a few days ago.... and guess what?? One of my mafla was torn the color and ruin the whole pail of my favourate shirt with each of them have a little bit red spotty here and there.... luckily i'm still not cry yet..!!

My stomach is hurt badly...... i drank chocolate drink and then Ipin Belanja me with delicous ever air jambu pak cu with extra serbuk sweet sour...... gosh...i dip all the serbuk and lick the whole cup until it was clean!! By then My stomach will need an extra work to digest everything included those extra sugar .... hope i don't get WENG WENG and became hyperactive..!! Need to neutralize with lots of plain water..... 

All i need right now is a visit to my hair salon so my hell day will never be complete if i has a nice well treat hair.....

PS:// God please test me firmly.... i'm still a little gurl ....sometime...i guess!!

Where is the OTHER-half ???

Where are You..??

I have no idea how much difficult it was to find the man of your dream, the knight of shining armour, the prince charming, your other-half and of coz i'm talking about MR. Right... With the limitation on time that my parents gave me (Matchmaking that my parents are work on will be pospone on June!!) make me even more GABRA and don't even knew what to do. I do admit i fall for a few guy... and i guess there is a few guy had interest upon me which all i do right now is... walla... stay stood and ignore them.... It's like i have a feeling but i scare with what i felt.... pathetic ME..!! *O_O*

I fall in love many time before, but honestly.... i always fall for the wrong GUY, which make me at the worse stage of my life .... and guess what?? With fulled of hard effort... i do recovered... and became who i am today!! Phobia with commitment/relationship aka LOVE to be Single.... but for how long..?? Maybe JUNE will be the answer...!! Hmmmm...????

I don't knew?? Guys are quite difficult to be understood... People are saying women are unpredictable creatures... yeah right!! You got to see man when they are at their PMS mood. Hell, totally ups and down. Human will never accept that actually man are even more unpredicted rather then women. At least women will talk a lot.. and there is a few point upon their action when they are talking..!! But man... when they want to do something..... just.. Zaaaassssss.... without any discussion, they just do it. And when it come to their mistake.... dusss tottally zip it up man..!! And man like to cover each other too.... hell pathetic..!! Oppsss sorry not..!! :-)

A few days ago, after think a lot i make a conclusion that i will accept man that accept who I am.? The point is ... am i capable to accept who he is..!! Well that is the biggest questionmark, and still wonder in my head... hehehe....

What happen when i get a guy which has less education than me ??

What happen when we married and he show his true colour ??  *wink*  *wink*

What happen when he just knew how to complaint..??

Everything are blame in on me..?? What The F*** ??

Just want everything according to his order ?? Am i a robot or what..!!

If You already got your MR. right..... i think you should appreciate him the way he is..!! Rather then other people who still struggling to find thiers...!!  :-(

I'm tired.....

Utusan Dari Langit.......

Peristiwa ini berlaku dua hari lepas semasa aku tengah bersenang lenang memanaskan enjin keta untuk ke opis @ lab. Entah apa yang merasuk aku pada pagi itu, aku dengan bersuka cita nya telah memanaskan enjin kereta sambil pintu pagar terbuka luas. Tak pernah juga terjadi dalam hidup aku memanaskan enjin sambil mengelap-lap kekotoran pada keta disamping menyiram pokok bunga sekeliling umah hatta membuang rumput yg menjalar dalam pasu......

Maka nak dijadikan cerita....dengan tiba2 terdengar suara lelaki tua menegur aku.... aku dengan penuh gabra mencari-cari dimana suara itu berada. Oh rupa-rupanya dicelah rimbunan pokok yg dah lama Finie(osmet) tak cantas. Debaran didada aku kembali memuncak....

"Ya..uncle...!!!" .. kepala aku masih rancak memikirkan sama ada uncle Cina ni waras ker tak...(PS:-aku selalu kena kacau ngn org gila, kadang2 anjing kejar...angsa pun cukup menyampah kalo pandang muka aku..... jeles la tuh.) !! Sambil memandang sekeliling... sunyi sepi.... saper pun tak ada. Kalo jadi apa2 kt aku.... aku akan terus lari masuk lam keta.... langkah berjaga-jaga.

Uncle tuh terketar-ketar jalan ke arah aku. Aku budget umur dia misti dalam lingkungan 80 thn. Sekali lagi aku jadi cuak. Dah la muka uncle tuh pucat and berkedut (tanda2 menunjukkan dia tak pakai botox), jalan terketar-ketar, baju pulak warna putih kekelabuan, seluar kelabu cerah..... Mcm2 aku (yg agak penakut nih)... pikir..!!!

"Itu org duduk lumah itu bila ada..??" uncle menunjukkan umah selang dua umah dari umah aku.
Jam ditangan menunjukkan pukul 9.20am. "Diorang pergi kerja kot uncle, sekarang dah pukul 9 lebih." Balas aku....

"Bila dia mau balik..??" ... ah sudah..!! Mana la aku tahu. Bertegur sapa ngn dorank pun aku tak pernah. Walaupun kadang2 aku selalu curi parking keta depan umah dorank.

"Errmmmm uncle datang pukul 6ptg la. Misti semua orang dah balik kerja..!!" Balas aku sedikit mendatar.

"Saya tak boleh dtg lg maa.... lumah saya jauh dekat Sungai Long sana. You tahu Sungai Long..??"

"Tahu...tahu...jauh..jauh..!!" Balas aku sambil mengiakan kata uncle tuh.

"Nnt diorang balik you bagi tahu dia .... tak payah pindah, saya sudah dapat rumah balu untuk kawan saya. Diorank tak payah pindah." Cakap uncle tuh dengan bersusah payah nak explain kat aku sambil tangan dia terketar-ketar menyelup poket baju dia...

"Ok uncle nanti saya bagi tahu kat diorang....." Aku dah lewat nak pg keje.

"You bagi tahu tau.... tak payah pindah, saya dah dapat lumah baru."

"Baik...baik uncle nnt saya bg tahu..!!" Balas aku sambil terus masuk lam keta nak gostan keluar parking... aku pandang cermin keta nampak uncle tuh bersusah payah berjalan ker tepi. Rasa bersalah pulak... tapi nak wat camner, aku nak pg keje... Pas dah gostan keta, aku keluar nak kunci pintu pagar.

"You bagi tahu itu olang arr... tak payah pindah, saya sudah dapat lumah balu..!!" Pesan dia lg.

"Ok..Ok uncle.... nnt petang saya bg tahu sama diorank..!!" Uncle tuh mcm taknak lepaskan aku, tapi dia berjalan gak dengan paksa rela...menuju ker jalan besar depan umah aku. Aku pun gerak ker opis sambil intai dari side mirror, uncle tuh tunggu bas kat bus stand depan umah aku. KESIAN giler dowh aku tgk.... kalo opis aku menghala ker sg.long... dah lama aku tumpangkan uncle tuh...!!!

Tiba-tiba aku terpikir sendiri, kenapa la aku selalu mendapat situasi mcm nih..... Selalu sangat menjadi mangsa membantu mereka2 yg berada pada situasi yg sgt tak diduga.... tapi tak per lah... aku ikhlas membantu..!! Termasuk ari nih, dah dua hari aku asyik dok mengintai umah jiran aku tuh jer. Kalo umah jantan takper la jugak.... nih umah org pompuan. Hmmm....???

PS:- Pada saper2 yang terjumpa ngn jiran selang satu umah dari umah aku tuh. Tolong cakap kat dorank, tuan umah dorank pesan tak payah pindah, tuan umah tuh dah dapat umah baru. Dorank tak payah pindah. OK..... TOLONG  EKKKK.....!!!    ^O..O^

Exam oh exam....

Minggu nih jadual aku dipenuhi dengan exam jer..... walaupun tak bnyk stakat dua tapi dah cukup untuk membuatkan aku berdebar-debar mcm pengantin nak akad nikah kaedahnya .... (hhmmmm....!!!) Walaupun kalo dipuratakan sejak aku tadika aku rasa cam dah lebih dari 10,000 test dah aku berjaya amek, tapi perasaan setiap kali nak amek test tetap berdebar-debar yang susah nak ditafsirkan. Aku pun tak paham dan susah nak tafsirkan sifat aku yang satu nih dan confirm aku tak akan dapat 100% utk setiap test.

Ari sabtu ari tu aku telah berjaya ge test PTD (Pegawai Tadbir & Diplomatik) kat Dewan D Maeps. Oleh sebab koordinat Maeps tuh hanya memakan masa 7 minit (speed keta sehabis melenggang kangkung) dari rumah aku, maka dengan penuh berlagak dan mendabik dada aku keluar kul 8.05 dari rumah sambil menunggu Ipin. Then dpt msg dari Krol suh pick up dia kat Tasek sbb hujan dah start turun (biasa la, aku nih keje driver utk rakan2). Sambil melayan perasaan dlm keta memikirkan masa tido yg diganggu, maka kami bertiga berdiam diri didlm kereta sampai jer kat masjid UPM, humangaih jalan jame....... jam dah menunjukkan pkul 8.25am. Darah gemuruh aku dah dtg balik, tapi masih mampu dikawal sebab aku tak bnyk bercakap n merapu meraban mcm selalunya (dah pandai bersikap rational...muarghahaha). Kami semua masih mampu bersikap tenang, siap berenti sekejap sambil menekan butang emergency demi nak menyelamatkan anak kucing yg tiba2 jer duduk tgh jalan time jame....... tak kan la mak kucing pun nak pg test cam ktrg...!!!

JAME depan pintu MARDI jer dah dekt setengah jam. Kalo aku dtg sorank2 confirm aku patah balik cam sesetengah kereta yg berpatah balik sbb tak tahan dugaan. Oleh sbb aku dtg bertiga, maka aku tabahkan hati. Namun takder la tabah sgt.... sbb ketiga2 kami dah start meracau. Ipin siap cakap...menyesal naik keta, naik moto dah lama sampai.... Aku balas balik, menyesal tumpangkan korank, kalo tak dah lama aku patah balik...!!! Exam start pkul 9.00 am, namun faktor cuaca yg tak mengizin kan maka exam aku start kul 9.45am. Dengan baju basah, aircone yang terlampau sejuk ... aku bulatkan tekad utk menjawab gak exam sambil memandang aircone atas kepala.... mana la tahu kot2 turun salji....!!!

Aku berjaya menjawab Bahagian A dan dah confirm satu soklan aku jwb dengan betul... unit utk supersonic ialah MACH jer adik-adik...!! Lagi 39 soklan lg aku tak tahu apa nasib dia. Yang bahagian A tuh aku sempat buat perbandingan lagi ngn jawapan rakan2 (entah saper2!!) kat kiri n kanan sebelah kanan lagi.... sebelah depan.... sebelah depan hujung kiri, jawapan kakak duduk belakang sebelah kanan dan jawapan mamat yg duduk tepi tiang... yg berada 3 meter jauh dari aku. Masuk Bahagian C baru aku tak meniru sebab pengawas peperiksaan tadi baru sound cakap jgn meniru...!! Mula2 tuh dia tak sound, so bukan salah aku la....!!! Soklan akhir tuh... bagai nak termuntah dibuatnya..... soklan Ya atau Tidak .... sampai 200 soklan..!! Pas jawab jer aku terus bangun ngn berambus sebab kepala dah berpinar2..... jalan berhuyung-hayang sambil melangkah kaki ... Ya Tidak Ya Tidak Ya Tidak....!!!  TRAUMA dowh...!!!

Satu soklan yang sampai skang aku masih mencari jawapan dia.....

Anda akan ketawa dengan jenaka yang berbau lucah....??? APAKAH..??

Yer...sila jawab yer atau tidak.....???

Untuk test research method.... malas aku nak ulas....!!!

LANGKAH yg LEMAH

Kadang-kadang langkah kita sukar ditafsir,
 susah untuk dimengertikan....
    terlalu mulus utk diungkap pada satu ayat yang dinamakan kebenaran.....

Bicara sentiasa akan mengungkap satu nama yang dipanggil PENILAIAN....

    Adilkah jika kita dinilai pada satu had yang diluar norma keADILAN.....

           Haruskah kita hanya berdiam dan membiarkan mereka terus hanyut dengan kesombongan diri

Atau salahkah aku yg masih tercari2 yg namanya kebenaran..!!!

Aku hanya mampu terdiam
      Terkunci dalam tangis.....
               Berdiam dalam sedih.....
   Bernafas walaupun sukar untuk kuhembuskan....

Moga sedikit ruang ini ku pohon....

Kau beri lah pertunjuk pada hamba MU ini....

....dan berilah kesabaran kepadaku .....

Amin ya-rabbal a'lamin..!!!

APRIL gurl's

CT, ME, IDA

APRIL is coming..... well i'm about to turn myself one step further, i mean my age....

Other then that.... hmmm still puzzling around... HEH...

OK for APRIL this year, its quite difference bcoz i will celebrate it with two of my best friend which is Ctot (11 April), Ida (18 April) and Me of coz' (24 April).

We planned on having some sort of reunion for our friendship aka BFF.

Maybe it's quite difference when we celebrate it next year, bcos those mak buyung was ready to MELETUP with their first kids..... I can't wait either..!!

I can't imagine how we gonna celebrate it next year with all the diapers, botol susu, and the screaming..... the chaos...it must be funny..!!!

I knew them for many years, it must be hilarious to see them handling their toddlers.

Remembering the past, i can't describe how much we get along together, we help each others, trust each other so much, support each others through goods and bads... and most of all we always have each others shoulder to cry on.

I miss it very much..!!

Sometime i wanna ring them and telling what happen every each of my day like what i always did before, telling them which place has the highest sale around, which is the good bargain, telling them whom i'm interest in, telling them the latest gossip around, even telling them the stupid thing i did each week .... but i have to stop it because they have thier own life, own family and responsibility. I don't wanna mess their life with my stupid gurlish attitude.... They are women now... and i'm still stuck with my gurl thing..... huh when will i get mature...???

Sometime i felt lucky to have Ezit as my housemate, so at least i have someone to listen my stupid and ridiculous story. To rely on and help with my decission making which still now i am weak at that. I really need someone who never will judge me, b'coz i am the way i am.... i may not be good, i may act like a jerk, but thats the way i represent myself.... which make me ... ME...!!! I'm not a special gurl... i'm just ME.

Time running really fast, till we can't cope anymore with what happen around. We really have something in common anyhow, which i do realize. We are stubborn, quite pig headed, determine on doing something, really felt duh and boring for someone whom like to mess our head, we are active and funny at the same time, we have strong spirits.... and we have a good heart inside us...which we will show it sometime...hahahaha !! And don't dare to mess with us..... hehe..!!!And most of all ... we HAVE EACH OTHERS...!!!

Happy birthday GURL'S..... may Allah bless our friendship...!! Lebiu.....

Weekend

Minggu lepas.... hari aku penuh dengan xtvt yang sangat padat. Hari Sabtu tuh aku bawak Geng2 student Introp n Fakulti hutan join ngn geng En.gate n Man naik bukit tabur.... memang best n happening lah. View sentiasa superb dan tak pernah mengecewakan. Enjoy seksgt......!! Pas bukit tabur ktrg lepak makan cendol kat melawati... lama gak la melepak sambil dengar crita En.Gate tentang Hassan, kawan dia yang dah setahun hilang kat Gng Yong Yap, dorank suspect kes orang bunian, aku pun rasa cam tuh gak, sampai time en.gate bercerita bulu roma aku habis naik.....siot jer..!!. Baru bulan lepas dorank wat reunion repeat balik yong yap in memory to Hassan.

Pas makan cendol ramai yang nak balik so tinggal aku, man and en. gate lepak kat DAMAI. First time nih aku datang kat Damai, sanggup korban pegi Karox semata-mata nak pegi Damai.. Jumpa Bonda n Abg Azhar-nya kat cna. And en.gate kenalkan aku ngn Abg ayim.... otai yang jaga kat damai nih.  Memang very humble, merendah diri and tak lokek for sharing.... abg ayim nih, cuma mulut dia jer yg agak bising n nyaring sikit, aku ni mudah menilai org dari first impression aku terhadap org tersebut. Selalunya 95% betul, and i conclude yang abg ayim nih hati dia baik punya, cuma mulut dia jer lah yg bising sikit.... hehe..!! Pas Man lead satu route aku belay dia..... then aku top rope dua route..... lam kul 5.30 gak la ktrg balik. En.gate kul 3.30 lg dia dah chow.... nak lepak tgk chelsea lawan MU... nasib baik chelsea menang..!! Hahaha..... dan yang pastinya Kedah tewaskan Terengganu 2-1.... pastu final lawan ngn Negeri 9..... sabtu nih..!! CAYALAH KEDAH....... kedah...kedah pantang kalah..!! oopppsss..!!!

Sebelum kul 6 aku dah terpacak depan umah kakak aku kat damansara. Biasalah pertama2 kali aku sampai benda yang selalu aku cari adalah makanan. Makan sambil bercerita ngn kakak aku. Aku siap tunjuk lg skill aku naik rock... begini...begini.... Kakak aku yang tengah mengait alas meja beria mendengar cerita aku. Last2 terkeluar ler cerita Hassan, abg ipar aku pun menyampuk la yang dia ada kenal sorank pakcik umah kat area lembaga getah negara. Pakcik tuh kawen ngn org bunian (korank nak percaya pun takper, tanak percaya pun takper, tak der saper nak kesah!!). Abg ipar aku cakap, kalo mintak tolong pak cik tu misti dia leh tolong. DALAM  Umah dia sentiasa ada limau nipis ngn bunga terletak atas meja. Cit mcm cerita CINTA BUNIAN nora danish berlakon la pulak... kata aku lam hati. Abg ipar aku cakap kalo nak jumpa pakcik tu malam nih pun tak apa, dia bleh bawakkan. Kakak aku siap sound lagi, leh laa dia tgk2 kan ko skali. Aku senyum jer lah......!!

                                                          

Malam tuh lepak2 kt umah sambil tgk bola.... layan bola, sampai satu block dengar ktrg menjerit. Pas tgk bola aku lepak ngn adik aku kat mamak bawah umah sambil makan capati n fresh orange. Sampai kt umah kakak aku ngn laki n anak dia lak amek shift keluar melepak. Aku dah pensan tak sedar diri. Ari ahad pepagi buta kakak aku dah bersiap nak pegi beli tiket gamble balik kampung ngn adik aku n anak dia, dorank balik seminggu, laki dia tak pollow sbb keje. Tinggal aku ngn Pinky (adik ipar kakak aku) kat umah. Aku turun ge beli nasi lemak, beli karipap ngn kuih apam utk Pinky sambil msg RAIS, tanya nak main rock pukul baper? Kul 11... dia reply...

Aku pun bersiap and speed bwk keta kul 11.15 aku dah terpacak kat Nanyang.... Ruper2 nya si Rais tak sampai lagi. Dekat setengah jam aku tunggu dia tak dtg lagi, terjumpa la ngn Solber, dia main berdua ngn kawan dia si BOBOI.... walhal sblum ni tak pernah pun aku tegur dia, bosan punya pasal aku bawak la beg ngn peralatan climbing yg giler punya berat tuh....dekat 10 kilo kot..!! Tambah ngn barang aku ngn tikar berkelah tu lg. Angkut semua pegi side bouldering. Last2 Solber patah balik nak pegi route sebelah Kuil India sana. Aku dengan perasaan sgt tidak malu, aku cakap aku nak join dia. Dia pun dengan muka yg sgt tak percaya terus cakap OK. Nak pegi route tu aja dah azab utk aku, sambil terjumpa sami india, sami tuh senyum kat aku, aku balas balik senyuman dia dgn penuh keterpaksaan menahan beban yg maha berat utk tulang belikat aku. Trekking naik celah semak samun ngn botol kaca merata2 dengan tapak kaki yg hanya diselaputi oleh selipar jamban RM3.90. Bapak tak confident dowh......kang tercocok kaki aku habis kurang hantaran. Nak sampai ker kawasan climbing tuh ajer aku dah pancit... muka basah dengn peluh. Sumpah seranah jgn tanya berapa kilo....

Sampai jer kat kawasan gua yang mcm dlm cerita ahmad albab dan agak redup tu, terus aku usher semua route dia.... aku dah senyum ... giler best.... yang pasti semua route tu bukan level aku lg la.... tapi memang best route dia... layanzzz gila2 beb..!!! Aku berjaya naik 5c jer.... yang 6a tuh aku tak berjaya naik ... lg pun aku kesian boboi sebab lama sangat dia belay aku dengan penuh kesabaran. Kuang hajar betul route 6a tuh.... hold dia sedap2 tapi part kaki tuh susah skit utk aku yg dari azali lg mempunyai kaki yg pendek. Lepas jer 3meter yg pertama hold dia memang best. Tapi apa kan daya. Asyik tergelincir jer.... bengang ngn marah ngn diri sendiri, sbb tak leh nak naik.... 6a jer beb..!! Memang aku nekad nak main boulder kat Putrajaya dlu.... nnt aku paksa si Wan atau Yan ngajar aku...!! Aku tak kira..... kena gak ajar aku... aku nak naik route kuang ajar tuh...huh..!!

Apa yang boleh aku rumuskan, si solber nih boleh tahan OK jugak la, takder la sombong n garang cam muka dia tuh, penuh kesabaran dia mengajar aku yang agak Pelembab nih. Bersusah payah dia ajar skill side pool kat aku yg mana macheng ajar tapi still tak berjaya lagi aku nak buat. Dem betul..!! Si solber nih selalu panjat ngn Ijat. Huhu patut la... si Ijat punya skill kat wall memang sgt power dowh. Aku selalu usher dia lead, serius POWER giler....... Yatt punya power pulak hmmmm...????  wink...wink...wink.....!!!  ^O_O^