THE UPSETTING DAY'S

After reading Tenggelamnya Kapal Van der Wijck, FROM wellknown HAMKA. I had an idea to wrote a poem, i grab my sketch book, look at each page for a new idea, somehow i was stunned with one of my poem that i wrote specially dedicated to my before-bestfriend, i don't know whether she's still remembered me, till now she is my best-friend........ we always laught together, note down our point of view freely without afraid of the idea to be rejected, she's perfect, she's beautiful, she's smart, sometime i envy these perfect creatures, but most of the time i'm proud to be his friend...............well the moments was so long to past ago. So ...... this poem is for you, i miss you friends ......REGINA.

Today.........I've got a tree

The tree is in the pot

And I place it outside my house

The sun is shinning brightly and...

The win is blowing slowly

The pot is wet and my hand is dirty

I've started my step,

followed the rhythm of leaf at the gelam tree,

And the flowers of hibiscus blooming away.

Telling everybody, that my heart is empty.

Tomorrow will going by

The tears will stop flowing,

And one day you'll forgotted

That today someone is back-stabbing you

That you are totally breakdown and tears apart

As the sand and dirt messed your pants.

When the plant growth higher and bigger!!!!

(1.28am)

-1/10/06-

I've already forgive whoes back-stabbing me, they are human, and human do lots of mistake.

Ye...ye...menang bola...

Harharhar.....gua nak ketawa tahap kingkong punya. Introp lawan bola ngan Fakulti sains, Introp menang 4-2, best gler nih gua isytiharkan sebagai gua punya hadiah birthday paling bermakna walaupun gol tu semua sikit pun dorg tak dedicated kat wa. harharhar.......

Ni dipanggil menang untuk menebus maruah yang tercalar selepas bermain ngan Fakulti hutan, kes bertumbuk tgh padang then kes dorg wat protes walaupun Introp lawan Fakulti hutan menang 2-1, tapi dorg menang protes so keputusannya ktrg kalah 3-0 ngan Fakulti hutan. En. Mat (Pegawai Tadbir) cakap takyah lah bising2, kita main sukan untuk suka2 jerr..... tak guna gak kalo menang protes tp akhirnya menyusahkan org lain..... nak mencari makan. BETUL gak cakap En. Mat yang ktrg sayang nih.

Shah ckp budak2 introp yang nak main, semua dah kecewa taknak turun padang, budak Ittar pun ada yg taknak main. Kita dah confirm takleh masuk final sbb bnyk mata tu kena tolak..... Shah cakap ngan muka marah. Ye la...first ktrg lawan ngn Fac. Kejuteraan ktrg menang 2-1.... memang considered leh ge finalnyer lah.......Kalo tak sebab si Ashadi tu yang cari pasal sampai kena tumbuk, memang smooth jer perjalanan ktrg, time dia kena tumbuk pengadil nampak, time dia lutut kan budak tu sampai berdarah bibir pengadil tak nampak..........hmmmm. It's the name of the game....... what else to say.

Aku tak puas hati aku torture Shah, aku cakap kt di tempat yang benar so buktikan yang kita bleh menang lawan kali ni. Buktikan!!! Walaupun kita takleh masuk final, maruah lagi penting dari piala yang tak seberapa tu. So at last.....we prove it. Ktrg menang 4-2 dalam perlawanan yang sgt memuaskan hati sebab takder bergaduh, takder bertumbuk, takder maki-hamun, even Fakulti sains jaringkan gol, kitrg pun tepuk tangan takder halnyer beb. To be added Fakulti hutan kalah lawan ngn fakulti kejuteraan 4-0.

Kebenaran sentiasa akan terbukti akhirnya. Ada la cakap2 yang menyatakan susah laaa nak pg fakulti pas ni konfirm kena pandang slack. For me, hallo!!!!! Aku tahu spirit faculti hutan macam mana aku dah hampir sepuluh tahun kat faculti ni, spirit ktrg memang kuat mcm family. But one thing most important is if you want to do something, be honest with it and put your pride on it, otherwise mother nature(Hukum Alam) will showed you the way.

Aku tidak takut pada sesuatu yg dinamakan KEBENARAN, if I'm wrong please with the name of God, showed me the right way.
Enought with my bubbling.............

HappY 26 Birthday....

SMS
Nadia Betty(12:01AM): Happy birthday!! Thankx NADIA
Ijan(12.02AM): A lullabye early morning happy birthday song via MMS......LOVE U friends
Umapathy(12:41AM): Hi Yatt.... Selamat Hari Jadi... HEHE
My Big Sis(4:06Am): Happy besday semoga panjang umur d murahkan rezeki dan diringankan jodoh :-) Amboi pepagi buta betul ko sms aku nih misti bangun time anak ko merengek nak susu.
Timah 012(6:57Am): Salam beb.....happy besday!smoge panjang umo n murah rezeki!take care n love ya so much! LOVE U too friends
Ipin(8.28Am): Hepi birthday, ;-) Thankx anak ikan
My Lovely Twin Bro(Adik)(8.58Am): Kak t, eppy bezday. May Allah alwayz luv,blezz n care 4 u :-) May Allah bless and care for you too. I'm proud to be your sister.
Mak(10:58AM): Kak t, epi bday yg ke26.. Smoga pnjng umor,mrh rzeki, n pa2 je la..huhu.. Epi bday, dri adk mimi n mak.. LOVE U where's dad....????????
My Lovely Twin Bro(Abang)(11:32AM); Nenek SELAMAT MENYAMBUT HARI LAHIR KE-62... Semoga pjg umur & murah rezeki. Harharhar, I'm proud to be your sister even you have to follow every each order that i've made but deep down inside me I love you bro...

Thankx everyone i love ya all !!!!! May Allah bless we all, also guide me to the right way of my journey, may Him gave me the time for me to enjoyed my life and be good to others. And may Him gave me a chance to be who i wanted to be.................Amin Ya Rabbal a'lamin.

Hargailah Rakan2 selagi mereka masih Ada

Batch Diploma


Batch Melantai

We all at banding......

Wah...haha....ngah mengular time orientaring

Ge Korbu ngan Batch Korbu

MYBest friend IDA and CT

IM in TRAUMATIC!!

I don't know what happen to myself, but since going back to Bagan Datok, i was soooo........... TRYING hard to be NORMAL. And guess what???? I know i didn't. Because first of all, i can't concentrated on study and exam, pending on writting my second journal, i laught a lot!! (note that A LOT means not normal, insane......duh!!!), I just let myself flow away, slide on each day without has schedule for me to follow. I'm like someone that is LOST, but there's no one realise about it.

I just buy whatever come on my head, grab one nice yellow t-shirt, a BUM white watch which stayed cool on my left hand, on my list right now is carlo rino highheel, pink wallet, and goggles jeans. I going back with a very full stomach last night with all those kind of sushi and mee udon at the sushi king. I played bowling almost everyday....... had a life without thinking bout tomorrow, afraid to think about tomorrow, scared to know what will happen to me after this, have a nice day with half of my spirit enjoyed what am i doing and the other half is wondering around like nothing happen. Gorsshhh!!!

I'm suffering, i know bout that, i scared that on day without realised it ....... that i will die. I scared to think bout death, but no one can do anything bout it..... it's on God hand, and we know nothing bout it. I had a lots of planned on my head for tomorrow, for these week, for these month and next month, another 10 years from now, 20 years and at my ages reach 70. The thing is whether i reach that number or not.... thats the main point!!! I don't know what to do with myself. I .................... just don't know.

I become blur

SUNDAY again!!!

Semua org akan rasa happy when sunday is coming because they can have a nice rest, long sleepy day and watching TV. Completely difference with me!!! Bler sunday jer confirm muka aku terpacak kat ofis ni ngan foreigner yg lain. Nak siapkan report ngan slide nak present besok, its been two year i'm doing my master degree, its crazy but i really hope to finish my master in three years thats my limit and a torture, GET IT by hook or by crook. Otherwise i declare myself as a failure.!!

Whateverpun semalam i already have fun pg shopping barang dapur then jumpa baju 3 for slightly RM10....... on my bucket baby....yeah!! Gler sangat shopping, xleh nak wat aper. Ari jumaat aritu nunggu dorg dtg tempat bowling gua grab one nice yellow T-shirt for only RM15. HEHEHE..... a present for my self. then main bowling.......harharhar.......mula2 score 119 then second game yee haaaa 129. COOL......

Hmmm..... maybe 24 april ni aku target nak beli jam, dah usher dah harga around rm200. A birthday present for myself. Also beli jeans baru.......... hehe.

Tadi bangun pepagi......pagi ker...5minit sebelum kul 11.00, considered pagi ler tu kan??? masak nugget pastu masak fetucini carbonara, hehe.......ok lah sedap la jugak bler di tambah ngan parmesan cheese. Ohhh hhooo......terlupa semalam pg check kesihatan kat mesin kat Giant Kinrara....... ni result dia....

weight = 49.7 (Dah naik sikit dulu 46 jerrr!!!!)
height = 155
your BMI is = 20.7
normal BMI range = 19-25
ideal weight = 45-60kg

body fat index = 27.7%
mass body fat = 13.8kg
ideal body fat = 18-27%
ideal body fat mass = 8.9-13.4kg
daily energy requirement 1183 Kcal

Blood Pressure = 119/81
pulse rate = 88/ppm (nih sebab wa nervous!!)
normal blood pressure less then = 140/95

OK enought for today, time to work!!!! OH yer..... besok pas meeting, nak ge pameran buku kat PWTC, pg time kerjer best sikit....... tak ramai org!! Dah 2 tahun aku tak sempat nak ge pameran buku, this time aku tak mungkin akan lepaskan. Heh!!!

Hilangnya Ketawa Seorg Teman

Wow...............very hectic busy non-stop days. Baru jer sampai dari Bagan Datok, Perak hadiri majlis pengebumian Allahyarham Mohd. Faiz bin Kamaruddin. He's not a friend anyway, i more likely treated him as my little brothers, same like shah, talap, apiet, tam, iju, yoo and the rest. They are like a family rather then junior senior relationship. He's a good guy, humble, funny, really down to earth, friendly, mature, and fun to get along with. I tried to think anything bad about him, and i found NOTHING, totally nothing. He's perfect that's why he deserve a places where he belongs now, only that we will miss your laught, and i will miss a word...."Oui, yat!!" ... the words that you'll always said when you meet me to be added with those query smile which always put a smile on my face.

The cause of the death that was wrote on surat kemation is meningitis. Dia dah lama demam, then baru 2 hari dimasukkan ke hospital. After that doctor cannot do anything because there is an infection in his brain maybe due to less salt in body some said that his to busy and active and maybe because dia pernah terjatuh semasa main futsal pastu kepala dia terluka. There's no post mortem. So quite wondering around... ALLAH know better!! Ya Allah.... tabahkan lah hatiku menerima kehilangan seorang rakan ku ini ........ dan berikanlah kekuatan kepada keluarganya menempuh segala dugaan yang telah Kau tentukan.

Thanks also to family Ila yang membenarkan kami semua menumpang teduh sepanjang perjalanan kt perak. I'll really appreciated all the layanan along the way. What i can concluded is they really love FAIZ. Lihat kesungguhan diorg, usaha cik ton ngn sarah nak datang walaupun busy ngan meeting kt genting, usaha diorg kumpulkan rakan2 walaupun ada yg ada test, semasa diorg mandi kan jenazah Faiz, Kapankan, sembahyang di masjid, dan akhir sekali semasa di kubur. Really this is the last appreciation from us for you. MAY ALLAH BLESS YOU, AL-FATIHAH............

Facial Treatment!!!!

Wow what an experienced, i went for a facial treatment, at first only for resdung treatment then i change my mind with extra facial treatment that only cost me RM45. For me it still quite cheap and affordable, to be added the gurl whoes treated me was soo well trained (NADIA), it was soo a released treatment, so free, so calm inside, the smell of the steamer in light roses, arrhhhh..... i really felt like a brand new me after the treatment. My face was so smooth except for a little bit red-spot scar after she's squeze all those naughty pimple away. Hopefully be gone by this 2 to 3 days.

I think everyone can be beautiful with affordable price, u can buy a beautiful face with modern technology, modern treatment, lots tone of new cosmetic product are produce every year, you have choise in traditional treatment, with all those jamu BUT one most important thing is you cannot buy the BEAUTIFUL HEART inside you, you cannot do a treatment to got a good heart, there's not even a product for inner-beauty.

That's what i have conclude after that 3hours treatment. When you do treatment, you released your tense by the power of massage that absord all those negative charge that's has put a burden on your shoulder. You feel free and at peece that put a smile on your face and resulted the "berseri-seri" face. Its a good new start for a day.....hehe

I'm Late Today

Gorrsshhh...... never got this monday blues before, i was soo hard to wake up till 11am this morning, maybe my offices surrounding is not like before, thats why i think that i don`t wanna come for work today, but somehow i reallise it won`t settle anything. Well, welcome to a grown up world.!!!!

Really its difference now, i dont felt that i belong to here anymore, its more a headache rooms than a happy one before. And all what i want now is sandy beach, collect seashell and snorkeling of coz'. I hope i can go for a vacation ALONE when i finish one journal to publish. It's been soo 5month without any trip, all because of my writing.

I should be positive, maybe some that didn't get their payment for last month and think all those hutang list make them preasure. But, i felt the same situation before, i reacted the way they do, and at the end i got double payment, and guess what it won`t solve anything. MONEY is a big important thing in our life, but don't let it loose our faith and dignity and because of that stupid paper you lost some important person around you. DuuuHH!! And take a good deep breath and said, shout is much better....., "Don't irritated people around you.....they have a problem of their own, SO BE FAIR!!!!!!!"

So what i'm doing right now is exactly like UMA............. close our mouth, better then talking and people hurting you. COZ i might sure, my mouth is much lazzer then other people here, SOO best way speak when it is to speak, otherwise SHUT YOUR MOUTH UP. gtg got work to do.

I'm........ A Women.

Well, semalam gi beli barang dapur ajak naz temankan. Siap beli beras 5kg lg utk aku sorg makan.... Auuww berapa kurun nak habis pun tak tahu laaa..... Selamba kodok jerr si LUFTI mengejek ktrg!!!! Geram aku ngn dia, kalo dia usik aku, selamber dog jer muka dia, kalo aku yg usik dia, humagaih....... macam dinosaur nak makan org. TAKUT tau........ siot jerr!!

Tentatif aku hari ni, memang nak bangun lewat, sebab after check all my schedule, hanya hari ini sahajalah satu2 nya hari utk aku berehat dan kemas bilik and get rest, it's the last difficult thing for me to do for the past 2 months, tapi tak rehat sgt laa sebab target one assignment should be sent by these evening, tmrw ada discussion kul 10am, then sambung kelas tutorial kul 3-5pm. yup!! it`s on sunday gurl.

Aku bangun kul 10.00am....hehehe, takder lah lewat sgt sbb dah terbiasa bangun awal. Mula2 terkebil2 ngadap siling tak tahu nak wat aper. Lama2 berfikir....bangun jer lah, you cannot solve anything by afraid to face the day. Come` on... i`m a big gurl now.

Bangun jer terus, capai towel sangkut towel kat kepala...cover rambut yg mcm hantu, gi bilik air amek berus gigi ngan ubat gigi terus bwk gi dapur gosok gigi kat singki dapur sambil bermalas-malasan, dah lama tak wat kerjer cam ni. Selalunyer semedang tak der masa. Amek baju lam baldi terus tuang lam mesin basuh, terpikir lak semlm ge survey mesin basuh automatic ngn naz, kalo bleh beli kan best.......hmmm penyedut hampagas pun tak terbeli lg ada hati nak beli mesin basuh yg sama arga ngan gaji aku sebulan, kang hari2 makan buih sabun lak. Hmmm ini lah satu2nya benda yg aku tak reti sgt basuh baju guna tangan. Tengah menunggu tu tetiba k.ana masuk bilik air, rupa2 nya dia nak basuh baju, hhmmm kompern slow laa air aku, bercinta nak menunggu air penuh lam mesin.

Pikir punya pikir baik aku wat kejer sementara nak menunggu mesin nih. Aku keluarkan ayam, keluarkan daun bawang, tepung dll. Target nak wat kuih cara berlauk. Jadi tak jadi tu belakang kira. Nak tunggu ayam tu lembut, aku naik atas amek cadar, selimut, sarung bantal.... nak basuh bantal busuk, kang tak kering kang, jenuh pulak aku takleh tido. Last2 cancel basuh bantal busuk, nanti tak leh tido mlm lak. Lepas tu kemas tilam, hamparkan toto, susun balik bantal, kemas buku yg bersepah tu.

Turun bawah aku start memasak. Potong bawang besar, bwg kecik, bwg putih, then tumbuk. pastu potong ayam kecik2, ada yg part tulang aku malas nak potong, hmm simpan jer lah, mlm karang wat bubur ayam. Ala halia takder lak!! Hmm takper lepas wat asgment, otw nak ge amek baju IDA yg aku anta dobi tu leh gi beli halia sekali. Dah goreng semua, masuk kan kari masuk kan bla bla bla bla.......hmmm tak sedap lah pulak kurang masin, last2 amek lada sulah pastu sos ikan....kekeke jeng jeng jeng terus jadi sedap, cam ala2 ayam goreng rendang. Huh teror aku, aku pun tak ingat aper yg aku masukkan, tapi memang sedap rasanya.

Then, amek tepung, pecah telur pas tu taruk perwarna kuning telur, taruk garam, taruk air, kacau kacau kacau.....hmm macam tak meriah lah pulak, amek serbuk kari daging tuang lam tepung, kacau lg....haaa baru cantik colour dia, ala2 kuih cara berbintik2. comel jerr!!! Pastu tapis. Then, selongkar peti sejuk cari marjerin, ada 3 margerin, aku buat decision amek margerin yg letak paling ujung sekali......... "mintak margerin sikit yer" kata aku di dlm hati utk penghuni rumah aku. kira dah mintak kebenaran lah tu. kahkakah.

Sambil2 tu aku basuh pulak cadar, then amek baju yg mula2 basuh tu ge sidai. Pastu lari lak ke dapur panaskan acuan kuih cara tu, sambil tunggu dia nak panas aku terpikir sendiri..... aku ni mcm mak-mak lak wat kerjer umah segala. Sambil sapu minyak ngn marjerin lam acuan, aku terpikir, yang aku nih dah dewasa rupanya, tak sedar, cepatnya masa berlalu, tahun nih aku akan menginjak ke usia 26 thn. Lebih dari suku abad. Everytime when April is coming, i always got this BLUE`s, Setiap kali bulan April setiap tahun, aku sentiasa terpikir what have i achieved, am i being a good gurl, how many best friends i have, about relationship, everything just came into my head in just a sudden.

I put a full stop for everything. I just did. I won't talk about relationship, married or whatever. All i want is to focus on my studied. I've already heart-broken. Broken enough until i don't want to think about married. That's it!!!!

Sehari Dalam Hidupku!!!

Kih kih kih....dah lama gler internet problem kt cni plus i'm totally definitely busying myself with my writting and journalling, i felt much happy and a little bit release with the progress i've made. Alhamdulillah.

Well....... sure kat mana2 tempat kerjer misti ada seorg manusia yang sgt menyakitkan hati -more like a parasite- So kt cni pun ada seorg yang sgt problematic punya org. Kenkadang aku tak paham apa masalah mamat ni.....dengki sgt ngn ktrg student ni, (maybe nak masuk universiti tapi tak dapat tu pasal asyik cari pasal jerrr kerrjeeer dia). Kerjer pembantu makmal komputer tapi lagak ngan angkuh dia mengalahkan pensyarah, kurang hajar tu jgn cakap la...

Cuma aku perasan la dia kurg bnyk bunyi time aku ngan ijan takder sebab ktrg stok kuat melawan punya (Ye laa... benda tak relevent. Ko ingat aku ni takder otak nak berpikir.) Tapi belang ngan tandok dia ni start muncul bler ktrg xder......... hhmmmm si iza tu la yang kena. Menyirap darah aku bila tahu dia perang mulut ngan iza. Alasan dia si iza bukak laman web tak berkaitan ilmiah,siap nak report kat dr.khalina. Haarrrhaarrharr HeLLo mr. bodoh ini universiti ada ISO, wireless is everywhere. Most important thing is, kami bayar yuran RM1350 satu semester INCLUDED that stupid wireless and komputer fee yang U perjuangkan sgt tu. Bercakap ngan GAYA seolah2 dedicated sgt dgn kerjer.............. sebenarnya menyemak jerr kat cni. Datang kerjer lambat, balik kerjer awal, cuti confirm seminggu sekali atau dua kali, ada kat ofis paling lama pun 3 jam pas tu hilang ntah ke mana.

Aku ngan Ijan sampai sekarang tgh stand-by. Ko cari pasal settle ko....... Aku tak suka nak maki org sebab sekali aku maki sampai tua org tu akan ingat.... so better watch out Mr Fadhli. For your information la, batch aku semua stile mulut bleh tahan punya, stakat org macam ko... hekeleh....... lam hati berkata2 "Ini jer ko mampu buat! Tak terasa aper pun!!" mulut mustakim lagi hebat