Huh!! some sort of wasting my time when we happen to meet someone which really-really bluff of the day. Some how i kept talking to myself that calm down it is just a learning lesson to your own life. YOU will LEARN something from these, and most of all have fun with life....you go gurl i know u can make it!!!......... I still kept wondering, (even when my head said stop it gurl!!!) I wondering how a married guy had other relationship and how a wife tackle the problem when she already knew that his husband has other women apart of their marriage, she take no action/do nothing. Huh, lovely couple, they ARE meant to each other......hahaha so funny.......
I think in ISLAM itself has a limit to each tolerant or patience level in our life and other people life. Thats why we have sin(dosa) and we have a reward(pahala) for every action that we have taken, but when a muslim didn't know how to segregate his action, huh why you still concidered yourself as a muslim. Why you still commit a prayer if your bodied still acting an inmoral attitude. DuuuHHHH..... really no answer for my question!!!! hhmmmmm........
Maybe (MY THEORY).... just maybe that person has been too much being controlled by his/her parents soo they have uncertainty in life a behavior that he/she concealed throughout their maturity and ingrained as a revenge taken in a way to punish the person whom had controlled their life. Yup!! Being a MELAYU the tradition taugh us to said nothing to what our parents do and obeyed thier command (points there....uh..huh). So each individual will had an inner thought throughout their growing life, that they affraid to let it free...some will take in positive way while others in negative way.........hhmmm
In my first semester in Dr. Mano class we discuss about Human Psychology and Human attitude, off coz from the famous Alice H. Eagly and Shelly Chaiken. Once that still kept in my head is a human will response to certain stimuli(situation) and that person will response the psychology tendency (keinginan untuk bertindak mengikut keupayaan pemikiran individu tersebut) which well influence by thier cognitive responses (knowledge/thoughts) and affective responses (feeling/emotion) and form a behavioral response which is well known as the action.
HAHAHA.....too much watching TV(criminal minds).
ME.......well to settle it out, you have to have faith in yourself and most important is dignity inside you, from this you will built the person that YOU want to be inside YOU. Have faith have dignity. Human will always reacted like a HUMAN, all you need to remembered is they are human you are human, they make a MISTAKE and sure you`ll do too. So fare and square relationship between you and other people. That's what i kept into my head, and became who i am today.
HUH.... i'm felt soo happy with all my findings, its time for me to start my work..... kihkihkih semalam adalah hari cuti untuk seluruh selangor, maka kami2 yang banyak kerjer nih dah mati kutu sebab ramai giler staff yang cuti panjang. AKU...hehe nasib baik Shah ada, after going to maulan having a breakfast ngan chadoks, nisak and exit. I datang kerjer sensorg memang takder org accept pakcik indon yang ngah wat renovate kat lab baru. Fine, kete shah ader kat parking, tapi dia entah hilang kemana. Dah la aku ni penakut sikit.Nasib baik ijan SMS cakap nak dtg wat keje then Exit pun SMS nak dtg teman.....pwweeeehh. LEGA.... after settle the work at 12.30pm ijan ajak rush ge Sg. besi, exit pun nak follow. nak ge cari pos office pastu ketiga2 dara pingitan ni dah kelaparan, eehhhppppmm makan kat sg. besi ker? then wa suggest, alang2 dah datng cni baik ge Endah Parade BKT Jalil jer, makan kat cna siap leh KAROX lagi. Tapi nak dijadikan cerita, tempat karox penuh free kul 3.30...humangaih, berakar bontot nak menunggu. jeng jeng jeng...jalan punya jalan.... ktrg decide ge bowling main 2 frame murah gler RM7.50 satu kepala(tunjuk kad pelajar). game first kalah 1 point jer ngan ijan, second game wa menang. kuikui. hui bleh tahan gak aku main bowling. tapi pastu wa sakit sebelah bontot, sebab dah lama tak streching tetiba angkat benda berat. hehe.......... chow!!
I AM NOBODY, BUT I AM SPECIAL ON MY OWN WAY.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
The Meaning of LOVE
I`m a little bit query bout LOVE, when i read my Friendster, Amin post a BULETIN as below, read and judge it by yourself, and see my judgemeent, hehehe:-
Every girl dreams that one day she will find a guy that does these things for her. even the smallest action can have the BIGGEST impact in someones life.
> > • give her one of your t-shirts to sleep in.
> > • leave her cute text notes.
> > • kiss her in front of your friends.
> > • tell her she looks beautiful.
> > • look into her eyes when you talk to her.
> > • let her mess with your hair.
> > • touch her hair.
> > • just walk around with her.
> > • FORGIVE her for her MISTAKES.
> > • look at her like she's the only girl you see.
> > • tickle her even when she says stop.
> > • hold her hand when you're around your friends.
> > • be the one to take her hand, don't make her reach for you
> > • be the one to call her, don't make her always call you
> > • when she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her.
> > • let her fall asleep in your arms.
> > • get her mad, then kiss her.
> > • tease her and let her tease you back.
> > • stay up all night with her when she's sick.
> > • watch her favorite movie with her.
> > • kiss her forehead.
> > • give her the world.
> > • write her letters.
> > • let her wear your clothes.
> > • when she's sad, hang out with her.
> > • let her know she's important.
> > • let her take all the photos she wants of you.
> > • kiss her in the pouring rain.
> > • when you fall in love with her, tell her.
> > • and when you tell her, love her like you've never loved someone before.
My idea is way .... too pesimistic. Well, at least i`d be honest.
Every girl dreams that one day she will find a guy that does these things for her. even the smallest action can have the BIGGEST impact in someones life.
> > • give her one of your t-shirts to sleep in.
> > • leave her cute text notes.
> > • kiss her in front of your friends.
> > • tell her she looks beautiful.
> > • look into her eyes when you talk to her.
> > • let her mess with your hair.
> > • touch her hair.
> > • just walk around with her.
> > • FORGIVE her for her MISTAKES.
> > • look at her like she's the only girl you see.
> > • tickle her even when she says stop.
> > • hold her hand when you're around your friends.
> > • be the one to take her hand, don't make her reach for you
> > • be the one to call her, don't make her always call you
> > • when she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her.
> > • let her fall asleep in your arms.
> > • get her mad, then kiss her.
> > • tease her and let her tease you back.
> > • stay up all night with her when she's sick.
> > • watch her favorite movie with her.
> > • kiss her forehead.
> > • give her the world.
> > • write her letters.
> > • let her wear your clothes.
> > • when she's sad, hang out with her.
> > • let her know she's important.
> > • let her take all the photos she wants of you.
> > • kiss her in the pouring rain.
> > • when you fall in love with her, tell her.
> > • and when you tell her, love her like you've never loved someone before.
Nice and cool huh!! So dramatic, romantic, bombastic and most of all PLASTIC....... Yo! guys, we still can stand if you guys didn't list down all those activities above that you can find it in movie or film. All that we need is YOU GUYs to be loyal to us. To be honest, to be humble and again LOYAL. No fishy around, no stupid scandalous thing......hallo u pikir you tu artis ker. Wajah tu handsome sikit dari longkang. Huh!!! Just treat us like a human, what make a diffrence is we are WOMEN.
Those words a romantic, but how long it will last, maybe just a years or two of your marriage. After that man will reacted just like they are single again ...........so unmature. THis kind of guy you wanna take as a husband.......woooo hooooo. Duuhhhh!! Think twice.My idea is way .... too pesimistic. Well, at least i`d be honest.
Monday, November 24, 2008
BUSY weekend!!
Huh got very busy day since thursday, wake up early at 5.30am when Yani already waiting for us. At 6.00am, yani's drive to genting highland and we reach there 10min before 8am. She's got meeting at 8.30. Really rushy life when i don't have time to take my bath(be honest, ijan conquer the bathroom hahaha). Hehehe......forgot to write, me and ijan settle our work till 1.00am the day before thursday. So not enough sleep and not enough shower..........hahaha. NO COMMENT.
At Genting Highland, we enjoyed our pleasure time when the day suppose to be the working day and Yani's busying herself with somewhat she said the boring Meeting held by Jabatan Pengairan dan Saliran at the meeting room at First World Hotel. We got round-round and round at the indoor team-park till i getin` tired and hungry(hehe......my eating timing is once for three hours). I look at ijan with my sweet face and said.......lapar la. Ijan giglely laugh and said....ko ni memang membela. So we stop at I meter Tea....... with again my sweet innocent attitude covering my shocking face when the tea was RM5 for a cup of tea which similar to mamak tea. Hahaha....kalah kinabalu babe, kat kinabalu pun tea dia dalam small teapot k.
We enjoyed the view ourself facing Marie go Round, with the lover bridge and a roller coster up in our head. I see the banner shows the Life band will be held at 9.00pm.....wow put it on my list baby!!! Isaid to ijan that there is a karaoke box upstair, that we can check after these. She's excited with the news........so it become our list for tonight xtvt. We check the price for karaoke box near bowling alley, we forwarded our journey to outdoor teampark. The price somehow is quite expensive RM42 per entry. We walk to the bus terminal, walk again till ijan said this is the place when we come at our diploma day. i was blurred coz i can't remembered this place in my head.
We waited for yani at waiting room in First World Hotel for check-in. It was so cold till i feld to sleep for a few time. Another new experience while waiting for check-in, when the guess i think reach 500people at one time. WOW!!!!! It`s MANY......harharhar...... New thing to learn, but for me GENTING is best and heaven place for gambling, and a people like us, some sort of boring when you just going around at the same sport. To be added the life band held on PUBs and BARs....... yup...... no entry place...uhh hhuhh.!! Muka aku memang le lepas, tapi ijan ngan yani yg bertudung, hui baik jgn. The Room is OK, walaupun agak kecik, 3rd star hotel. Survenier for myself is hehehe Earring 3 pair for lovely RM10. worth it!!! Ari jumaat tengahari dah sampai serdang, hehe...petang tu apa lagi, buat muka stampad jer kat ofis...kuikuikui.
At Genting Highland, we enjoyed our pleasure time when the day suppose to be the working day and Yani's busying herself with somewhat she said the boring Meeting held by Jabatan Pengairan dan Saliran at the meeting room at First World Hotel. We got round-round and round at the indoor team-park till i getin` tired and hungry(hehe......my eating timing is once for three hours). I look at ijan with my sweet face and said.......lapar la. Ijan giglely laugh and said....ko ni memang membela. So we stop at I meter Tea....... with again my sweet innocent attitude covering my shocking face when the tea was RM5 for a cup of tea which similar to mamak tea. Hahaha....kalah kinabalu babe, kat kinabalu pun tea dia dalam small teapot k.
We enjoyed the view ourself facing Marie go Round, with the lover bridge and a roller coster up in our head. I see the banner shows the Life band will be held at 9.00pm.....wow put it on my list baby!!! Isaid to ijan that there is a karaoke box upstair, that we can check after these. She's excited with the news........so it become our list for tonight xtvt. We check the price for karaoke box near bowling alley, we forwarded our journey to outdoor teampark. The price somehow is quite expensive RM42 per entry. We walk to the bus terminal, walk again till ijan said this is the place when we come at our diploma day. i was blurred coz i can't remembered this place in my head.
We waited for yani at waiting room in First World Hotel for check-in. It was so cold till i feld to sleep for a few time. Another new experience while waiting for check-in, when the guess i think reach 500people at one time. WOW!!!!! It`s MANY......harharhar...... New thing to learn, but for me GENTING is best and heaven place for gambling, and a people like us, some sort of boring when you just going around at the same sport. To be added the life band held on PUBs and BARs....... yup...... no entry place...uhh hhuhh.!! Muka aku memang le lepas, tapi ijan ngan yani yg bertudung, hui baik jgn. The Room is OK, walaupun agak kecik, 3rd star hotel. Survenier for myself is hehehe Earring 3 pair for lovely RM10. worth it!!! Ari jumaat tengahari dah sampai serdang, hehe...petang tu apa lagi, buat muka stampad jer kat ofis...kuikuikui.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
TIRED DAY
Huh.....semua org menghilangkan diri arini. Kat dlm offis tak der org, kat dalam bilik student pun tak der org. Ipin and the gang ge main boling, goku and the gang ge karoke, ijan ge meeting ngan munsyi. Tinggal aku kak jue Yagoob ngan sorg budak baru, tak ingat nama dia. Ahhrrgghhh letih nya semalam ge karoke bantai sampai 20 lagu. Kul 2pg baru balik, makanya liat giler aku nak bangun pagi tadi, sampai ofis pun kul 11.30pg. Nasib baik uma tolong punch in, maka hahaha dgn kombang hidung gue ketawa depan uma. Datang awal la pulak ko ni ....bagus...bagus. Baru jer nak bersembang ngan Uma, Kak ana serang aku tanya ader sesiapa tak bleh buat artical pasal kenaf sambil memandang aku....... nak suruh aku buat la tu. Ketawa besar kak ana biler aku cakap cam tu. Then aku cakap, aku cuba buat, tapi nanti tolong editkan. OK
Kepala weng...weng lagi ni, wa nak balik tido jap. Hujung minggu ni CT ngan Ida dah booking wa. Kuang kuang kuang. Ok gak,dah lama tak keluar ngan dorg. Semlm Zack sms tanya aku kat ner, then aku ckp aku tengah karoke, then aku tanya apa pandangan awak?........Dia ketawa then cakap tak kesah lah, dia taknak kongkong aku. Hmmmmppphh, sweet lak jawapan dia nih. Comel...dah la muka dia comel......... hehehe. Ok fine nak balik tido. Letih siot........
Kepala weng...weng lagi ni, wa nak balik tido jap. Hujung minggu ni CT ngan Ida dah booking wa. Kuang kuang kuang. Ok gak,dah lama tak keluar ngan dorg. Semlm Zack sms tanya aku kat ner, then aku ckp aku tengah karoke, then aku tanya apa pandangan awak?........Dia ketawa then cakap tak kesah lah, dia taknak kongkong aku. Hmmmmppphh, sweet lak jawapan dia nih. Comel...dah la muka dia comel......... hehehe. Ok fine nak balik tido. Letih siot........
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Nota Cinta Lama
Nota cinta lama kujadikan lagu, walau tidak seindah bisik kata yang kau beri.
Tetap dalam hati siang malam menanti tak jemu aku dibuai kerinduan.
Belum pernah ada getaran sebegini,
Memang benar aku dilanda cinta kepadamu.
Bercahaya hidupku dalam taman cinta sehingga segalanya seperti pelangi.
Kau sambutlah rinduku jangan lepas lagi, kupatri setia seteguh kasihmu buatku.
Kini kutemui insan yg kusayangi sentiasa disisi bagai bintang yg berseri.
Tetap dalam hati siang malam menanti tak jemu aku dibuai kerinduan.
Satu jawapan engkau berikan bisaku rasa segala rahsia asmara
kau pesona cinta yang membawa bahagia........
Huh tired nyer semalam dari damansara attend meeting ada visit dari DHAKA, Bangladesh abes kul 1pm then ge shopping ngan kawan TEDDY BEAR ku ....jeng jeng jeng IJAN. Then jumpa LAN, ANAZ and Nenex sampai kul 7pm pas tu keluar lagi, balik kul 12.30am makan sate kat awan besar ngan bdk2 MYVI. DIDI belanja. Ari ahad ne pepagi buta dah bangun nak basuh keta. kekeke...............................
I'm thinking bout' ZACK right now......2 day's ago he proposed to me to be his GIRLFRIEND and he want me to try to work it out as a couple. It just too hard to let him down for the second time. It just i felt that his too perfect for a simple gurl like me..... that's it, he's wayyy tooo perfect. What happen to me for the past 2 week has turn me to be a couple phobic and i'm scared to let any men entered to my life; there always became strangers to me. And most important is he deserve a better gurl out there.....which he didn't find yet. Or maybe....maybe i fall for someone else.....hmmm. Krrriiiinnggggg.
Fulled stop that's not the point........the thing is I'm just thinking when i clash to ajib, i've found a somewhat demon (X-BF) hahaha.....just in one week, and now i've already break-up with that demon aka warewolf aka scunk aka parasite aka green algae in a dung ponds yulkss..... and less than one week i'm found someone who said to my face that saya cinta kamu..... and someone wants me to be his girlfriend....... huh less than one week. Romantic OK. hahaha....come on gurl life is not easy as that. I should think twice, life just though me a valuable lesson. And i LEARN from that... i do LEARN. My big sister told me to just try with these guy, Ijan said the words too........ huh ME..... i just need a BREAK for awhile. So much thing in life i didn't achieve yet, i just want to be free, most of all i just want to be ME...... sooo gave me a BREAK. I hope ZACK understand..... but we can be friend thou........ I'm not a good listener but you can just discussed everything with me.
Maybe people will think that heart-breaker will leave like a sorrow, mmmmm point notice......but no no no not me laaa babe..... He's not the men that are KKICK for me, but Ajib do, that's why when we a break-up, i'm being an aneroxic from 58kg to 48kg, and now i'm grown not too big but healthty and happy. Stop it thinking bout love...... there's not only LOVE important in these world.
Other thing are more important, like AZIZI has finish his PHD....... yup.....in just 1 year yup. A challenge for you gurl, he's do writting in IRAN and left us with a little bit problem that he forgot to settle. Cool..... me, uma and mehdi are struggle right now to fight with that subject, other wise we will failled........cool yeah.......nevermind. IF i'm failled and elliminated, Dr. Jalal will suffered, i'm doing hiss project OK........... not mine.....kuangkuangkuang........
LAPAR laaa...... dah kul 3.05pm......GTG......
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Oh My God....HE's LUNATIC
What the hell happen to me is totally out of explanation. My X-BF is a psycopath, he`s a lunatic, insane or mental disorder......oh my god, i just wanna to giggle, no no laught out loud that's the best words. That's why i always wonder what he always done was out off what normal people will do. Gorshhhh.......hahahaha. I alway laugh when we discus bout` Yani problem with the guy from Sabah that he wants to married with 4 gurl and the ironi is he's not even married once yet. We always make a joke with Yani case. Now my turns.......hahahaha.....new joke and the best of all, gotta tell Ijan to ZIPPed it up for awhile. Coz mine's was the best ever......I can bet ya`. Should let my break-up news be as a secret or calm for awhile, I know all my friends will thrown a BIG PARTY for me. Yup.........I'm dream on TIOMAN and I've already got a sponsor........ harharhar.
Syukur Alhamdulillah. Allah get me free from these mental disorder. He should end up stayed at Tampoi the nearest place, coz Tanjung Rambutan is too far from here. Hahahaha........ I know from the start that i didn't love him, but he was soo nice too me till i can't said NO, he's not even my type or the man that i dreamt as my husband, or the man that has educational level higher than me, or thinking like a mature human being.......... I've being with him because he treated me nicely. That's it.......when we break-up, i felt like huussshhh part off a burden was taken out from me, i felt totally free and happy. I was free to go wherever i was, free to decide what the best for me and free to just have fun in life. So........i went to Endau-Rompin State PARK last week and the best experience of all time. Whatever....life must go on, i will take this as a very valuable experience and challenge. Felt soo sorry with his wife, forgot her name someone bin kamluddin.... if not mistaken. Do take care wifee. The best part is I`m free ............ yeee hhhaaaaa.
GURL'S HAS FUN!!! That's what life owe us.........
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Bunga ANGKASA.......
Indah sinar sang suria, merdu irama sang bayu, tiada seindah wajahmu, tiada semerdu suaramu, lembut bayu membelai, merdu burung berlagu, tiada selembut belaianmu, tiada semerdu kau berlagu
Keindahan wajahmu, jadi sumber ilhamku, suaramu yang merdu, menghiburkan hatiku, Bertambah cahaya hidupku, kau janjikan sumpah setia, walaupun ribut melanda, kan bersama, selagi masih ada sinaran mentari, selagi ada getar dijiwa ku, kan ku korban, jiwa raga demi cinta untuk mu bunga angkasa..........
Well, i'm trying to act like a tough gurl for a zillion time, even i am not that type. I'm too tired of affraid for something that will hunt me. Whatever!!! Be tough gurl, got a lot things to do in the future. Finish my study and get FAR away from here. Thats what my planned for the moment. It's took about 6month for me to finish my master degree. Not gonna give up for something that i've already started.
Bout' LOVE!! For me love is something that both side help each other to fight for their own soul. If only, one side who fight for good, and the other side is surrender......well, what we got then!! Same like if we felt nothing to that person, better speak up, that's the right way. Rather then be a liar and a cheater. No need fulled pages of paper for explanation, just one words mean everything. I'm not gonna cry up and lay down for something that wasn't meant for me. I'm just want to laught up....that's it. Wasting my time....!!!!
I'm not gonna look back, that's my dignity, and absolutely, I'm not gonna pick for something that i've thrown away.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Aku bukan WONDER WOMEN mu
Aku bukan WONDER WOMENmu yang bisa terus menahan rasa sakit kerna mencintaimu
Hatiku ini bukanlah hati yang tercipta dari besi dan baja hatiku ini bisa remuk dan hancur
Kamu paksa aku menerima cintamu lagi dengan segala tingkah lakumu yg membuatku binggung
Kamu tahan aku dengan mobil kamu lagi kau pikir aku akan mencair dengan rayuanmu
Hahahaha I'm not a wonder women OK. Kekeke....... I'm gettin utterly BORINK nak terus kan kerja kat cni. You know doing a research is totally everything on your shoulder, i felt like a mature human being eventhou i still think like a teenagers. Its hard, so many weird people here that i to handle included ME, haha maybe. Many back stabber, actresses, Bossess, and of course no one want to be a coolly. Yup, when people got master and PHD their attitude will be at the level of their education. WHY?? The way we working and the way people around us push to us to work make it the way its look like something EGOISTIC and BIZARD. Well it isn't, the tension level put us at these stage. God, help me finish what i've already started, give me courage ...... please.
Hows my weekend......cool, yeah. I'm get up at 11am saturday morning, drive to my lab, settling my progress report. Settle everything just about an hour, then at 1pm drive to my sister house at Damansara damai, arrive at about nearly 2pm. Then playing with my lovely niece yup I'm an auntie now...........which will reach age 2month soon. She's so lovely and adorable, cutie mutie little baby.....nama dia Dayangku Nor Salina. So sweet, auntie love u k. Play lalalala with my niece whom of course know nothing for what i'm doing; when she's sleeping. I push my sister help me with the puding roti. Those pudding is absolutely BELASAH punya type, but well done to us coz it taste soo good yeah. hehe......... My sister will having small open house on sunday, she planned doing a dim sum, wow cool. We rush to the stall downside of apartment, when we reach home, those little terrorist already wake up. So we cancel the dim sum and i'm still hoping to learn make a dimsum, maybe BF will love it. Few week ago, he ask me to make a wanton but i don't have time to buy the wonton skin. Maybe this week will, coz we planned to spend this week together. Got to buy petai and udang.......he love sambal udang and petai.
On sunday, I wake up early at 9am hahahaha...... bukak TV tgk AFC chanel. hehe hobi me and my sister pastu sama2 terliur tgk dorg masak. My abg ipar wake up then keluarkan ikan and ayam and udang.......... I help him with the cooking be'coz my sister dah mogok taknak masak, almaklum lah mula2 hubby dia cakap ajak 3 4 org jer. lepas tu semua member2 yg call dia semua dia ajak.......dah jadi lebih kurang 10-12 org. hehe lantak korg lah kalo nak gaduh. Then Yani msg kul 1pm ready, dia datang pick up nak ge kenduri suraya. After kenduri we go shopping area THE CURVE, yeah ingat nak beli handbag tapi takder yg berkenan la pulak, last2 aku beli earring seehh.....3 sepuluh hinggit beb...... borong sakan la....hehe. GTG ijan waiting.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Ayat-ayat Cinta II
Sampai sekarang aku masih tertanya2 how my love story will be, either i'm gonna be like Aishah who sacrifice everything for the sack of the new born, or being like Maria who fall in love deeply to Fahri and couldn`t said a word about her feeling and in the end Fahri married to Aishah and she still love that guy to death. Or maybe the gurl who libelled Fahri for the sack the she was already fall in love with Fahri kindness. Hmmm........ gorsshhh I'm totally not those type of gurl.
I don't know, today.... meaning of LOVE is so cheap, so easy and at the end there`s no value. I dreamt someone that is my faith and my courage, can i get these kind of guy.???? Who can trust who I am, and i trust him too. We have the same kind of instinct that only we can feel it. We can share everything bout' life, bout' love, bout' politics, bout' our interest, bout' our family and friends and just bout anything......and apart of that we know we have each other. Thats what i want in love. It seem like just LOVE in the storybook or fairytale.
The world is getting too pessimistic and egoistic, everyone was too keen to protect their own soul and they hasn't know that they just hurt other people feeling. I felt it with Ajib before, and at the time of moment I know that he was not meant for me, he was too egoistic as a guy that you can respect as a MAN, as a FRIEND, and of coz as a HUSBAND.... if we did get married, I don't know whether it will last long. He has the valued that he can handle me, but deep down inside me I'm acting just like a pretender, so he will be happy, BUT i'm not. Some gurl can handle him, and that gurl is absolutely not me.
I trying soo hard to sacrifice in love but at the end i'm the only person whom is heart-breaker and fall apart. Maybe Allah guide me......insyaallah.
I don't know, today.... meaning of LOVE is so cheap, so easy and at the end there`s no value. I dreamt someone that is my faith and my courage, can i get these kind of guy.???? Who can trust who I am, and i trust him too. We have the same kind of instinct that only we can feel it. We can share everything bout' life, bout' love, bout' politics, bout' our interest, bout' our family and friends and just bout anything......and apart of that we know we have each other. Thats what i want in love. It seem like just LOVE in the storybook or fairytale.
The world is getting too pessimistic and egoistic, everyone was too keen to protect their own soul and they hasn't know that they just hurt other people feeling. I felt it with Ajib before, and at the time of moment I know that he was not meant for me, he was too egoistic as a guy that you can respect as a MAN, as a FRIEND, and of coz as a HUSBAND.... if we did get married, I don't know whether it will last long. He has the valued that he can handle me, but deep down inside me I'm acting just like a pretender, so he will be happy, BUT i'm not. Some gurl can handle him, and that gurl is absolutely not me.
I trying soo hard to sacrifice in love but at the end i'm the only person whom is heart-breaker and fall apart. Maybe Allah guide me......insyaallah.
"namun harusku tinggalkan cinta.......ketika ku bersujud."
Monday, October 20, 2008
Ayat-ayat Cinta
Desir pasir dipadang tandus, segersang pemikiran hati, sekisah ku diantara cinta yg rumit
Bila keyakinan ku datang, kasih bukan sekadar cinta, pengorbanan cinta yg agung
kupertaruhkan..............
Maafkan bilaku tak sempurna, cinta ini tak mungkin kujaga, ayat-ayat cinta bercerita cintakupadamu............
Bila bahagia mulai menyentuh seakanku bisa hidup lebih lama, namun harus ku tinggalkan cinta ketika ku bersujud...........
....ketikaku bersujud.
Well.....hmmm, semalam i had a very rushy life, celebrate Meni birthday at 12pm.....siap masak bihun lagi kt umah dia.....2.30pm rush to hentian serdang ngan ida tunggu bob kat cna. Then we all ge Johor bahru sebab ida and bob transfer ker cna. kul 7.30 sampai kat tol skudai, ktrg bwk memang slow habes sebab hujan jer sepanjang jalan. Keta bob lak aircon rosak soo.......takkan nak tinggal dia.....sungguh tak setia kawan kekeke...... Sampai jer JB ktrg tunggu staff Perhilitan En. Amy, staff Daha sebab nak settlekan pasal penginapan. Ktrg tunggu dia depan Hotel New York. Dia datang ngan anak and wife dia tapi dorg tak keluar sebab anak dia tido. Ktrg follow dia sampai wisma persekutuan then dia bwk ktrg ker Hotel Rasa Sayang then tunjuk kat mana ofis perhilitan yg bob bakal kerja. On behalf of that ida suruh En.Amy lukis peta nak ker Larkin sebab nak beli tiket bas kat ctu....... Well, dapat gak beli tiket transnational kul 11mlm,ida bayarkan.....utk diri SAYA pulang ker KL, sangat-sangat ttired.....paham. Tapi Ok laaaa.....happy sepanjang perjalanan, almaklumlah pg ngan ida, dia 'bahan' wa, wa 'bahan' dia balik...pstu kihkihkih ketawa. Cuma part tak best bler BF called then marah-marah. Mula2 ingat nak duduk kat JB barang sehari dua, tapi sebab BF dah maki-maki hamun suruh balik, nak tak nak wa kena balik walaupun dalam hati memang berangin jer sebab dah bawak baju tido segala bagai, siap bawak pario lagi, ingatkan nak main air kt tepi pantai.....huh sumua tu angan2 belaka.....tension jer. Ida ketawa jer sambil nasihat wa suruh balik, malas nak panjang2 kan cerita, lain kali bleh datang lagi...kata ida. Al maklum la wa ni kaki berjalan. Wa tak kira musti nak kena pg Pulau Tioman ngan Pulau Sibu. Nak pg jugak!!!!!
Sampai kat hentian serdang kul 3.15am, wa suruh BF amek, lantak la sapa yg suruh wa balik cni. Heh rasakan tunggu wa naik bas sepanjang malam. Nasib baik dia tak marah2 time pick up wa. Memang wa pun ready nak meletoop jer. Ktrg ge minum kat Ane' Maulana baru tu. Marah jugak tapi malas nak panjangkan cerita. Bila dengar lagu ayat-ayat cinta ni....haarrgggg sedihnyer, naper complicated sgt CINTA. Naper org susah nak percaya org macam aku or org macam ida ni, actually setia. I'm gettin' so fedup more and more. Tapi biar la....kesetiaan kitrg nih berbaloi. People can said what ever they want, but when they are in our shoes, i'm sure they will exactly reacted like us. Pen-off for today.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Selamat Hari Raya
Wahhh....tensionnyer aku tak leh balik kampung minggu ni nengok anak sedara aku cukur rambut..... rasa tak puas natap muka dia yg bulat tu macam anak jepun dah la kuat memberontak kecik2 dah pandai, sebijik perangai macam mak dia.....kakak aku tu la. Aku siap panggil anak buah aku ni 'pengganas' ..... pandai betul dia memberontak, kalo dah start dukung dia jgn harap nak duduk mula la dia bunyi siap tolak2 ngan kaki lagi. nak tido pun susah sebijik mcm mak dia jenis tak tido malam. Then yg comel nyer umur baru sebulan dah pandai buat mulut muncung. Mula2 tu pelik gak kat mana budak ni belajar....reruper nyer masa kakak aku ngandong dia kejer kakak aku ni main game jer.....maka bila time nak menang kakak aku selalu mungcung mulut huh huh nak menang.......hah maka sekarang ni anak dia ngekor. Hahaha sengal tul...........
Huh raya tahun ni leh kata meriah gak, ramai yang datang melawat ktrg. Cuma yg tak meriahnyer part kuih raya, leh tak time aku balik kampung seketul kuih raya pun mak aku tak buat lagi. bengang punya pasal, aku kerah tenaga adik aku buat kuih raya sehari 2 jenis.....ngan kakak aku sekali kena tolong walaupun masih lam pantang....peduli hapa aku. Maka hasilnya kuih raya tahun ni, tak habes sebab semua kuih yg aku buat tu tak sedap langsung. So semalam kak fat tanya mana kuih raya Yat. Aku jawab...hehe tak leh bawak sini sebab tak lepas SIRIM, dari kena kutuk kuih aku tak sedap baik aku wat muka tebal jer tak bawak kuih raya......hehe.
Huh raya tahun ni leh kata meriah gak, ramai yang datang melawat ktrg. Cuma yg tak meriahnyer part kuih raya, leh tak time aku balik kampung seketul kuih raya pun mak aku tak buat lagi. bengang punya pasal, aku kerah tenaga adik aku buat kuih raya sehari 2 jenis.....ngan kakak aku sekali kena tolong walaupun masih lam pantang....peduli hapa aku. Maka hasilnya kuih raya tahun ni, tak habes sebab semua kuih yg aku buat tu tak sedap langsung. So semalam kak fat tanya mana kuih raya Yat. Aku jawab...hehe tak leh bawak sini sebab tak lepas SIRIM, dari kena kutuk kuih aku tak sedap baik aku wat muka tebal jer tak bawak kuih raya......hehe.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Me...for the matter of moment
Well, aku demam for the past 3 days.......till now, still kepala ni weng weng lagi. Then malas seksgt nak pg PK or clinic.....ini memang kepakaran aku, kalo sakit jer sokmo malas nak ge klinik...hospital, huh haram....... I hate hospital, aku masih ingat lagi masa umur aku 5thn masa ktrg satu family lebih bnyk kat hospital dari duduk umah.....i hate the smell, i hate the surrounding, i hate felling at that time......i hate hospital. Sampaikan baru2 ni kakak aku bersalin, ktrg bersiap nak ge hospital tapi my brother just buat donno jer, then i ask him...oi...awat hang tak siap lagi...then with his slumber face, he told us he don't want to go. I just...what the hell you think, she your sister. Then aku buat muka slumber tanya dia...naper tak nak pg..... then dia cakap...aku takut bau hospital. OK...trauma just the same as me. Huh!!!
Life just happen to be so.......difficult for me.......'difficult' is it the right words. I donno, my insomnia just gettin even worst, thats what i'm affraid off. Tak boleh tido langsung sampai pukul 5pg to 6pg....baru mata aku terlelap. Everyday for the past 2months.....soo its totally effected my life, my mood, my work, my study......everything. I don't know what i'm affraid off, what i'm scare off....i really want to see a psychologist........but can we trust them. Well, my answer is no. The fact and the trust is i hate life.......i don`t care if i'm die........ but baru2 ni aku terdengar ceramah agama yg said that kita tak baik meminta kematian dari Allah........huh. Ok I'll........... so nak mintak aper!! I try to acted as a tough gurl but the fact is I'm not.....
Bout my relationship with my BF......huh, kan bagus kalau kita tahu dalam hidup kita ni bila kita dilahirkan, siapa jodoh kita dan bila kita akan mati..... we can prepared everything.... not end up to just put a puzzle into your husky life. The moment i going back to my kampung before fasting season, is the moments that i just put our relationship on God hand. I just dont rely to anyone, i just be me ......and my family. Aku taknak terlalu mengharap dengan aper2. Cuma i put a guts on one thing that is, if i got PTD and past the exam, I'll just leave EVERYTHING here. JUST EVERYTHING. Life seem nothing left for me here in UPM, just a nostalgia felling, since its been 7 years i'm staying here. I'm not gonna finish my Master Degree......i never plan to finish it.... Only Allah can change it. I love to travelled, well, being a diplomate is something have never come out in my mind....but i love to try it.
Life just happen to be so.......difficult for me.......'difficult' is it the right words. I donno, my insomnia just gettin even worst, thats what i'm affraid off. Tak boleh tido langsung sampai pukul 5pg to 6pg....baru mata aku terlelap. Everyday for the past 2months.....soo its totally effected my life, my mood, my work, my study......everything. I don't know what i'm affraid off, what i'm scare off....i really want to see a psychologist........but can we trust them. Well, my answer is no. The fact and the trust is i hate life.......i don`t care if i'm die........ but baru2 ni aku terdengar ceramah agama yg said that kita tak baik meminta kematian dari Allah........huh. Ok I'll........... so nak mintak aper!! I try to acted as a tough gurl but the fact is I'm not.....
Bout my relationship with my BF......huh, kan bagus kalau kita tahu dalam hidup kita ni bila kita dilahirkan, siapa jodoh kita dan bila kita akan mati..... we can prepared everything.... not end up to just put a puzzle into your husky life. The moment i going back to my kampung before fasting season, is the moments that i just put our relationship on God hand. I just dont rely to anyone, i just be me ......and my family. Aku taknak terlalu mengharap dengan aper2. Cuma i put a guts on one thing that is, if i got PTD and past the exam, I'll just leave EVERYTHING here. JUST EVERYTHING. Life seem nothing left for me here in UPM, just a nostalgia felling, since its been 7 years i'm staying here. I'm not gonna finish my Master Degree......i never plan to finish it.... Only Allah can change it. I love to travelled, well, being a diplomate is something have never come out in my mind....but i love to try it.
Friday, August 22, 2008
The Day After Tomorrow....
XTVT semalam.....teman BF ge beli bumper Satria GTI kat kedai Ane' kat kajang.... beFore that we going to D'Limau Nipis at Bangi, enjoying our lunch with those lovely ikan pekasam that always come out from my dream the last two week...its not totally a lunch break coz we reach there at 11.45am so sort of a "Mengular" punya break........its fun even we have a little bit quarrel...ngahngahngah.....but then I pow him with lunch for me and my car too.....isi minyak laaa... gorsh...i have to save my money till these month...... got not enough to survive.....huhu. Cian BF wa yang selalu kena buli...harharhar
Actually, aku baru beli handphone baru so just nak try dia punya aplication and trying to download it into my comp to judge the performance or quality of the picture interm oh....haha merapu jer kerje aku ni. Got to stop here its 10.35am, time for me to have breakfast, then will continue with my job at LAB........hope no Foreigner there.........I'm not hate them not double standard them but.........please out off my way when doing my job. Well i think i should write about foreigner student....but not today.....will be soon...tata
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Betul dari apa yang aku baca sebelum sebelum ni..........yang lelaki suka dilayan macam kanak2 or anak2 kecil....sangat manja dan kadang2 mengada2, suka cemburu tapi cukup bosan kalo awek dorg yg kuat cemburu, kuat mengongkong tapi tak suka di kongkong, suka bebel tapi cukup fed-up kalo awek dorg yg bebel....nak makan slipar ker??.......iya betul...tak tipu.
Hehe...it's quiet complicated relation between man's and women......I still trying to figure out what make a person can attrack to other person which soon will became his/their other-half. And pattern some of their boyfriend ni lebih kurang sama ngan dorg punya X-BOY yg sbelum2 nih.......hmmmm. Adakah itu takdir??? Might be...might be not!!!
But for me my BF ni is absolutely and totally difference ngan semua BOY yang pernah aku rapat sebelum ni. He's also out of a person which i imagine to became my boyfriend. Even Ajib pun sama ngan muka bdk freelance Shah Alam yg tak-berapa-nak-menjadi-balak aku dulu tu.
OK out off that question for awhile.
Aku giler membaca buku sekarang ni.......One on my hand is READING LOLITA IN TEHRAN, from Professor Azar Nafisi. At first 50 page of these book is hell too boring, but than it's became more OK side of it then......quiet interesting. I`ll take it as i attend Dr. Manohar class which we has to learn how to gave critics to JOURNAL........ What i was trill and a bit puzzle is the cronology of Islamic Rezolution of Pahlavi family (sekarang dibawah lindungan suaka politik di Perancis) which i think one day if no action taken will hunt our own country. The political problem, the corruption amongst misruled, penyalahgunaan kuasa oleh org yg mempunyai kuasa goverment for example.....menyebab dan menggalakkan rakyat untuk melakukan bantahan at first secara diam...and lastly it will became like confrontation and rusuhan and bla bla.....
Its easy as kerajaan harus mendengar suara hati rakyat. Siapalah kerajaan kalo memerintah tanpa rakyat........ Sama ngan memansuhkan AUKU.....and some of artikel which i read through newspaper mengatakan yg pelajar sekarang dah kurang kualiti banding pelajar dulu2 tahun 80-an zaman MCKK and what ever bla bla... Nak ada kualitinyer kebenda kalo hak ktrg bersuara disekat....kalo berpolitik kearah pembangkang sikit dah diugut dibuang Universiti.... So whats your choise then. And most important thing is kalo pelajar dulu2 tu berkualiti...what the hell with those rasuah berleluasa, gila kuasa, menggunakan hak untuk kepentingan diri.......tanpa memikirkan akibat pada org lain.... Bukankah org dulu2 yang membenttuk apa yg jadi pada ktrg sekarang nih.....hah jawab la....???
Org sekarang dah semakin buta....buta nak menilai mana satu benar dan mana satu salah. There`s too many hipocrite people...especially in politic,it's totally hard to judge.......prove me if i`m wrong.
So my next list TO-READ books is from Robert Ludlum....THE ROAD TO OMAHA........gtg
Hehe...it's quiet complicated relation between man's and women......I still trying to figure out what make a person can attrack to other person which soon will became his/their other-half. And pattern some of their boyfriend ni lebih kurang sama ngan dorg punya X-BOY yg sbelum2 nih.......hmmmm. Adakah itu takdir??? Might be...might be not!!!
But for me my BF ni is absolutely and totally difference ngan semua BOY yang pernah aku rapat sebelum ni. He's also out of a person which i imagine to became my boyfriend. Even Ajib pun sama ngan muka bdk freelance Shah Alam yg tak-berapa-nak-menjadi-balak aku dulu tu.
OK out off that question for awhile.
Aku giler membaca buku sekarang ni.......One on my hand is READING LOLITA IN TEHRAN, from Professor Azar Nafisi. At first 50 page of these book is hell too boring, but than it's became more OK side of it then......quiet interesting. I`ll take it as i attend Dr. Manohar class which we has to learn how to gave critics to JOURNAL........ What i was trill and a bit puzzle is the cronology of Islamic Rezolution of Pahlavi family (sekarang dibawah lindungan suaka politik di Perancis) which i think one day if no action taken will hunt our own country. The political problem, the corruption amongst misruled, penyalahgunaan kuasa oleh org yg mempunyai kuasa goverment for example.....menyebab dan menggalakkan rakyat untuk melakukan bantahan at first secara diam...and lastly it will became like confrontation and rusuhan and bla bla.....
Its easy as kerajaan harus mendengar suara hati rakyat. Siapalah kerajaan kalo memerintah tanpa rakyat........ Sama ngan memansuhkan AUKU.....and some of artikel which i read through newspaper mengatakan yg pelajar sekarang dah kurang kualiti banding pelajar dulu2 tahun 80-an zaman MCKK and what ever bla bla... Nak ada kualitinyer kebenda kalo hak ktrg bersuara disekat....kalo berpolitik kearah pembangkang sikit dah diugut dibuang Universiti.... So whats your choise then. And most important thing is kalo pelajar dulu2 tu berkualiti...what the hell with those rasuah berleluasa, gila kuasa, menggunakan hak untuk kepentingan diri.......tanpa memikirkan akibat pada org lain.... Bukankah org dulu2 yang membenttuk apa yg jadi pada ktrg sekarang nih.....hah jawab la....???
Org sekarang dah semakin buta....buta nak menilai mana satu benar dan mana satu salah. There`s too many hipocrite people...especially in politic,it's totally hard to judge.......prove me if i`m wrong.
So my next list TO-READ books is from Robert Ludlum....THE ROAD TO OMAHA........gtg
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Hari yg sgt mem'BLUR'kan.....pandang kanan Uma ntah hilang ke mana, pandang kiri Epi pun tak datang kerjer, pandang belakang si ijan nun dah kat terengganu.........hah..left me alone here by myself. Nak keluar ngan BF pun dia dah 'berhangen' gegiler dgn diriku ini.....harharhar. Maka, i'll stayed here all by myself. Syahmi cuti hari ni, so dia dtg UPM ajak Krol teman dia pg MAHA. Actually, aku pun nak pg MAHA, tapi dah janji nak ge ngan BF, better i stick with him, otherwise he will chopped me like a chicken.
Well, funny things happen to me, kat TV famous ngan PROMO filem susuk, ala yang..."Cu tolong nenek nyanyikan satu lagu!!!!" ... than aku selalu balas balik sambil menyanyikan lagu NEGARAKU..... haha funny right!! Sambil dgn angkuhnya cakap....har diri la...diri laa... So start from than dah 5 hari straight tido aku tak lena, than mimpi yg pelik2 dan ntah hapa2 sangat, termasuk la pg td, aku mimpi ada something like Zombie serang family ktrg kat kampung, memang bermati-matian aku ngan ayah berperang ngan Zombie tu....bila bangun dari tido jerr dah letih seksgt mcm lari round padang.
Semalam punya mimpi pun ngeri gak...... travel mcm lam cerita KING KONG plus CROCADILE DUNDEE. Aku duduk ditengah2 paya than ada crocadile tgh aim nak ngap aku... hiiiii takut tau, pastu aku dah berjaya lari, then tetiba jatuh dari atas pokok gorilla yg garang gegiler datang serang aku...after that aku dah terjaga dari tido, dgn perasaan yg sgt takut. Itu belum lagi bab mimpi umah lama nenek, aku tgh relex kat tangga, bila tersedar jer dari tido terus aku teringat nak balik kampung, than in the sudden i just realise than HALLO, umah nenek tu mana ada lagi, umah tu kan dah roboh........after that... I CRY.
Ha...padan muka, memain lagi ngan somthing like that, ko tu dah la lemah semangat..... Actually sebelum ni, I mean when i was in high school la, I was so tough ngan benda2 ghaib OR alam yg lain ni. Kalo org lain kena kaco, aku musti steady giler, even masa kat KMR dulu aku duduk kat bilik 303, aku selalu kena tinggal sensorg lam bilik tu. Rupa2 nyer kakak faci yg duduk sebilik ngan aku tu tak balik bilik sebab tak tahan malam2 dia selalu dengar org ketuk pintu nak masuk. Sampai tahap dia demam. Walhal, aku relex jer lam bilik tu....takder saper nak kaco. Pas 2 tahun blok aku tu dijadikan blok lelaki, bdk lelaki tu pun kena kaco gak, siap kena ubah katil lagi, terus dia dah tak tido bilik tu sampai ke sudah................
It all start bila aku, lan, CT, fuad duduk kat umah ibu masa tahun satu degree ....RUMAH PAHANG kat Cameroon Highland. CT yang kena kaco memulanyer, last2 ngan aku sekali dia usik....sakit betul hati aku. Suruh si Fuad ngan Lan sentri, bleh bdk 2 ekor ni ge bantai tido siap berdengkur ngan mengigau bercakap yg bukan2.......tension betul aku. Aku bengang, aku amek Yasin than aku baca tetengah malam tu. FED UP betul, dah la ktrg baru leps Daki Gng Brinchang........besoknyer nak Daki Gng Berembun........benda ni boleh cari pasal ngan aku, mana tak berangin satu badan aku ni dah la letih, tak bleh tido lak tu. Tapi tak berhasilpun pembacaan Yasin aku tu....sebab tak amek air semayang. hehe. Than ibu datang rescue aku yg tgh tension membaca Yasin tu. Than dia suruh tido, dia janji benda tu tak kaco lagi...... Ala benda tu kaco sampai ker sudah, sampai subuh baru OK.
Pas balik daki gng berembun, time ktrg nak berkemas nak balik, ibu datang bertanya apa kes yg semalam tu. Masa tu lan ngan Fuad berkhemas kat bilik dorg, aku nga CT tido kat ruang tamu, almaklum la...bayarpun murah. hehe.... Rerupanya yg ganggu semlm tu panjaga umah ni, umah Pahang jugak selalu menjadi Umah persinggahan Sultan Pahang kalo bercuti kat Cameron. Patut la siti cakap ada org pakai baju kuning halau dia keluar..... aku tak nampak tapi aku dapat rasa, struggle gak aku ngan benda tu sebab time dia tarik kaki aku than aku melawan, buktinyer, bila chek jer kaki aku dah biru gegiler. HHmmmm mistik tul. Nak lebih mistik pas balik daki gunung, ktrg tido sekejap sebab letih, Fuad, Ct ngan Lan bermimpi benda yang Exactly sama, kecuali aku yg mimpi lain sikit dari dorg................i`ll kept it as my secret.
So, moral from that story, takder moral aper2 pun.....just hati2 lah memilih umah tumpangan. Kalo korg ni tak der hati dan perasaan...baik korg tanya awal2 kepada tuan umah tu...tanya cam ni...."Makcik umah ni ada hantu tak???....saya ni lemah semangat!!" Biar jujur. Jgn menyusahkan diri sendiri.
So start dari kejadian itu, kalo aku masuk hutan, kuasa keberanian aku ni dah semakin berkurangan. Kalo daki gunung dolo2 yg selalu kena attack si Finie ngan CT(Wajib!!)....Sekarang mangsa dah semakin bertambah iaitu AKU...hehe. Dia Menyanyi tepi telinga la.......tetiba jer zappp...dah kat sebelah aku, mana tak mencicit aku lari, hampeh tul!! Kalo dolo2 nak ge buang air kecil lam hutan 2 org pun ...jalan....sekarang 4 org pun aku takut lagi..... mana tak nyer...tetiba jer...bayang2 warna putih rambut lurus....nyeettt...lalu depan aku, cancel terkucil. Sanggup biar batu karang.
Haha...enought bubbling from me....
Well, funny things happen to me, kat TV famous ngan PROMO filem susuk, ala yang..."Cu tolong nenek nyanyikan satu lagu!!!!" ... than aku selalu balas balik sambil menyanyikan lagu NEGARAKU..... haha funny right!! Sambil dgn angkuhnya cakap....har diri la...diri laa... So start from than dah 5 hari straight tido aku tak lena, than mimpi yg pelik2 dan ntah hapa2 sangat, termasuk la pg td, aku mimpi ada something like Zombie serang family ktrg kat kampung, memang bermati-matian aku ngan ayah berperang ngan Zombie tu....bila bangun dari tido jerr dah letih seksgt mcm lari round padang.
Semalam punya mimpi pun ngeri gak...... travel mcm lam cerita KING KONG plus CROCADILE DUNDEE. Aku duduk ditengah2 paya than ada crocadile tgh aim nak ngap aku... hiiiii takut tau, pastu aku dah berjaya lari, then tetiba jatuh dari atas pokok gorilla yg garang gegiler datang serang aku...after that aku dah terjaga dari tido, dgn perasaan yg sgt takut. Itu belum lagi bab mimpi umah lama nenek, aku tgh relex kat tangga, bila tersedar jer dari tido terus aku teringat nak balik kampung, than in the sudden i just realise than HALLO, umah nenek tu mana ada lagi, umah tu kan dah roboh........after that... I CRY.
Ha...padan muka, memain lagi ngan somthing like that, ko tu dah la lemah semangat..... Actually sebelum ni, I mean when i was in high school la, I was so tough ngan benda2 ghaib OR alam yg lain ni. Kalo org lain kena kaco, aku musti steady giler, even masa kat KMR dulu aku duduk kat bilik 303, aku selalu kena tinggal sensorg lam bilik tu. Rupa2 nyer kakak faci yg duduk sebilik ngan aku tu tak balik bilik sebab tak tahan malam2 dia selalu dengar org ketuk pintu nak masuk. Sampai tahap dia demam. Walhal, aku relex jer lam bilik tu....takder saper nak kaco. Pas 2 tahun blok aku tu dijadikan blok lelaki, bdk lelaki tu pun kena kaco gak, siap kena ubah katil lagi, terus dia dah tak tido bilik tu sampai ke sudah................
It all start bila aku, lan, CT, fuad duduk kat umah ibu masa tahun satu degree ....RUMAH PAHANG kat Cameroon Highland. CT yang kena kaco memulanyer, last2 ngan aku sekali dia usik....sakit betul hati aku. Suruh si Fuad ngan Lan sentri, bleh bdk 2 ekor ni ge bantai tido siap berdengkur ngan mengigau bercakap yg bukan2.......tension betul aku. Aku bengang, aku amek Yasin than aku baca tetengah malam tu. FED UP betul, dah la ktrg baru leps Daki Gng Brinchang........besoknyer nak Daki Gng Berembun........benda ni boleh cari pasal ngan aku, mana tak berangin satu badan aku ni dah la letih, tak bleh tido lak tu. Tapi tak berhasilpun pembacaan Yasin aku tu....sebab tak amek air semayang. hehe. Than ibu datang rescue aku yg tgh tension membaca Yasin tu. Than dia suruh tido, dia janji benda tu tak kaco lagi...... Ala benda tu kaco sampai ker sudah, sampai subuh baru OK.
Pas balik daki gng berembun, time ktrg nak berkemas nak balik, ibu datang bertanya apa kes yg semalam tu. Masa tu lan ngan Fuad berkhemas kat bilik dorg, aku nga CT tido kat ruang tamu, almaklum la...bayarpun murah. hehe.... Rerupanya yg ganggu semlm tu panjaga umah ni, umah Pahang jugak selalu menjadi Umah persinggahan Sultan Pahang kalo bercuti kat Cameron. Patut la siti cakap ada org pakai baju kuning halau dia keluar..... aku tak nampak tapi aku dapat rasa, struggle gak aku ngan benda tu sebab time dia tarik kaki aku than aku melawan, buktinyer, bila chek jer kaki aku dah biru gegiler. HHmmmm mistik tul. Nak lebih mistik pas balik daki gunung, ktrg tido sekejap sebab letih, Fuad, Ct ngan Lan bermimpi benda yang Exactly sama, kecuali aku yg mimpi lain sikit dari dorg................i`ll kept it as my secret.
So, moral from that story, takder moral aper2 pun.....just hati2 lah memilih umah tumpangan. Kalo korg ni tak der hati dan perasaan...baik korg tanya awal2 kepada tuan umah tu...tanya cam ni...."Makcik umah ni ada hantu tak???....saya ni lemah semangat!!" Biar jujur. Jgn menyusahkan diri sendiri.
So start dari kejadian itu, kalo aku masuk hutan, kuasa keberanian aku ni dah semakin berkurangan. Kalo daki gunung dolo2 yg selalu kena attack si Finie ngan CT(Wajib!!)....Sekarang mangsa dah semakin bertambah iaitu AKU...hehe. Dia Menyanyi tepi telinga la.......tetiba jer zappp...dah kat sebelah aku, mana tak mencicit aku lari, hampeh tul!! Kalo dolo2 nak ge buang air kecil lam hutan 2 org pun ...jalan....sekarang 4 org pun aku takut lagi..... mana tak nyer...tetiba jer...bayang2 warna putih rambut lurus....nyeettt...lalu depan aku, cancel terkucil. Sanggup biar batu karang.
Haha...enought bubbling from me....
Monday, August 11, 2008
I'll Be ....totally MAD
Duhhh....
I`m so spechless today....aarrgghhh god help me!! huh...the story is like these.I was totally in my monday boring mood....so i jump website....jump...jump...read...jump again...then duh!!....got to Between My leg...blogspot....who`s the hell these man is.....oh malaysian....oouuwww ooo engku emran...the famous man maried to Era fazira la.... than see his diary...jeng jeng jeng. His going to Junn wedding which is his staff yesterday at seri kembangan. The date was on sunday...and that means the wedding was on saturday...cool yeah...i`ll tried to figure out from suria fm wedsite but the hell gateway timeout has come out. I think my body cell was tranforms to became a hulk hogens lady...... I do...even no one have ever seen it... damn i'm in the hell out of me... i can proof it.!!!
I msg my BF and ask what the hell happen here....u said ur cousin wedding. The wedding`s held at bangi....are u trying u fishy out with me... i know you have no cousin in bangi.....but i just shut my mouth up because i think that was your privacy and i`m respect u, maybe you wants time with your family......than duh...drama...drama...and drama... got it.....i'm sick of it.....
Please laaa....if you don't wants me to attend you sister's wedding...just discussed it with me. Just say it. I think i have no probs with that...... but what makes me sooooo.....hotty absolutely angry here is.... u don't even gave me much space for me to enjoy mylife either....(I'm gonna cry right now!!) U controlled me 24/7, you controlled with whom i should go out.......u controlled at what time i should reach home...... I'm not the easy-stupidity-kampung gurls la....i have life....i have friends .......i knows my friends much longer than i know you.......they are more like my family than you ....to be honest.
Everyweek my friends ask me to join their recreation activities ....kayaking, water rafting, camping, even i have to cancel my trip to candat sotong and utmostly travell to indonesia to climb mount merapi and see candi borobodur, i have to cancel all around because i know u won't aloud me to go...because what...because i love you. For God sake.......... U didn`t even respect my self or even respect my vision in life.....what u know....u just want everything according to what your thinking.....u never ask whether i`m hurt or not.........but i`m absolutely hurt right now.
i have to change my life to 360 degree after meet you, i have to stay home waiting for your called, if you felt boring than u will call me, if not than i have to stay surround those stupid wall.......or stayed 10km around my house, so when u need me, i`d be just READY to go.
Huh..more like i'm stayed in militry school.
huh.......enough for today......i've really got headache.
I`m so spechless today....aarrgghhh god help me!! huh...the story is like these.I was totally in my monday boring mood....so i jump website....jump...jump...read...jump again...then duh!!....got to Between My leg...blogspot....who`s the hell these man is.....oh malaysian....oouuwww ooo engku emran...the famous man maried to Era fazira la.... than see his diary...jeng jeng jeng. His going to Junn wedding which is his staff yesterday at seri kembangan. The date was on sunday...and that means the wedding was on saturday...cool yeah...i`ll tried to figure out from suria fm wedsite but the hell gateway timeout has come out. I think my body cell was tranforms to became a hulk hogens lady...... I do...even no one have ever seen it... damn i'm in the hell out of me... i can proof it.!!!
I msg my BF and ask what the hell happen here....u said ur cousin wedding. The wedding`s held at bangi....are u trying u fishy out with me... i know you have no cousin in bangi.....but i just shut my mouth up because i think that was your privacy and i`m respect u, maybe you wants time with your family......than duh...drama...drama...and drama... got it.....i'm sick of it.....
Please laaa....if you don't wants me to attend you sister's wedding...just discussed it with me. Just say it. I think i have no probs with that...... but what makes me sooooo.....hotty absolutely angry here is.... u don't even gave me much space for me to enjoy mylife either....(I'm gonna cry right now!!) U controlled me 24/7, you controlled with whom i should go out.......u controlled at what time i should reach home...... I'm not the easy-stupidity-kampung gurls la....i have life....i have friends .......i knows my friends much longer than i know you.......they are more like my family than you ....to be honest.
Everyweek my friends ask me to join their recreation activities ....kayaking, water rafting, camping, even i have to cancel my trip to candat sotong and utmostly travell to indonesia to climb mount merapi and see candi borobodur, i have to cancel all around because i know u won't aloud me to go...because what...because i love you. For God sake.......... U didn`t even respect my self or even respect my vision in life.....what u know....u just want everything according to what your thinking.....u never ask whether i`m hurt or not.........but i`m absolutely hurt right now.
i have to change my life to 360 degree after meet you, i have to stay home waiting for your called, if you felt boring than u will call me, if not than i have to stay surround those stupid wall.......or stayed 10km around my house, so when u need me, i`d be just READY to go.
Huh..more like i'm stayed in militry school.
huh.......enough for today......i've really got headache.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
I got BLUES...
I`ve totally got no idea what i`ve done these week. I`ve more likely to run from something, but i donno what kind of thing that chase me. I blurred and scare.......but i donno off what? Life seem like a hell.... even i never been there....uuurrrrhhhhggggg....damn it.
I hate when, something which wrong happen surround me but what i can do was just nothing. Hate hypocrite person, hate them a lot. How could god gave them live in these world. Mess my head around by thinking of them....dduuuhhhh......
A person like me will always think life is unfare.... i still do think that way....... huh
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
My Vocation in Life
ASSIGNMENT 1
(Research Methodoly in Chemistry)
Life goes by; my interest’s changes as the wind blow me. Sometime I want to be lawyer; next day is to be police inspector, change to business women and to name a few. Until I reach my step to university and studied Forestry, I still don’t know what the best for me. For my parents, they just left the decision on me. They don’t want to push me to be what they want me to be, but at the end I led them down. So for them ‘I guide my own way’.
After finish my Degree, as all my friend did, is to find a job. Got a very hectic and crucial day to find a job, that make me just grab whatever that passes in front of my way. My housemate asks me whether I’m interest to be a research assistant (RA). I reply as, I will try. I have no job, and I have and should try it.
After a year now, the way I handle myself, the way I handle my job and the way I handle people surround me; make me think that these is what I want in life and these is what I wanted to be. My job has train me to be a tough, brave, mature, and independent young lady, that who has a higher respect to herself.
People will think research as no big deal. Just follow what your supervisor said. Yes! It’s true. But what happen if your supervisor is the Director of one institute, such as busy like hell. No time for you, no time for stupid or any tiny mistake. Only stayed two weeks in Malaysia and other week he will travel all around the world. UK, India, Thailand, China, London, Austria…..bla..bla..bla… Sometime you have to follow him in the meeting with Director, CEO, Datuk, Datin, Professor, Doctor, and only you are the one which is “research assistant”.
From the first day I became a researcher, I’ve learn like a kindergarden kids. Learn all sort of chemical, learn how to titrate, learn to try an error-thousand time, and my supervisor always strict us to take responsible for what you’ve done. One mistake, he will mumble and bubbling for the pass 2 hour of the meeting, till your ear and face will become hot and spicy.
Look back to my childhood year, when people ask me what I want to be? I`ll answer it as to be a doctor. What kind of a doctor? Now I have the answers. A doctor which do a research job.
Monday, July 7, 2008
My LoVe one!!!!!
B & Abang
LovE oF My life
Never thought that i will fine you,
Never felt soo secure when we are apart,
Never been happy, as we enjoy life together,
never felt needed as I need u soo much,
Never felt LOVE as i love U soo much....
Mwuah!!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Why Love is sooo.....complicated
I cannot sleep last night.... so my right eye become like bola golf.... bosan pikir pasal cinta... bosan biler pikir ...is these guy are meant for me... what happen when his not???... Damn... i hate it when we have to fall in love and at the end to fall apart.... it hurt and it`s damn hurt. Why guys never appreciate a gurl feeling.? Or does the gurl are blind itself....duh....
I remembered when i was in standard 4, a guy from next class has a crush on me..... The feeling was so.... unbelievable.... u know when u hav less self-esteem, u think urself as ugly duckling and someone has a crush on u. The news was spread all over the school... when i`m in standard 6 the news get even worst, even discipline teacher (Cikgu Ilias) came to my class and ask whose bla...bla..bla..blaa.... to get even more panas telinga...... `Kecik2 lagi dah pandai menggatal.` ...Perghhh menyirap siot.
But i know... who i am... and i thank that guy`s (Shahizan S.) a lot.... because u hav a crush on me..... u make me felt like somebody and u make me appreciated myself. I never did gave any response on his feeling.... i just said `If u like me ...... u have to get 4A on ur UPSR`. Things will happen to be just as what we never planned. At the end I, the only person in my school got 4A and he got 3A1C for English...... he was so sad ... that make him left the school after gettin the result. And he avoiding me at all...... that make me has less chance to meet and talk to him after that day.
I have a regret in my life. And that regret is.... to thank him a lot for liking me..... After i got 4A... i became popular....everyone was eager to find me and to have a look on these brilliant kampung gurl. But i try my best to run away... and sneak out from those annoying crowd. I hate it.......and i hate the most when that guys run away from me. i felt like nobody..... at all.
Now, things gettin diffrent and even better. I`m 25...not so beautiful...but i`m happy with who i am.... confident and honest as a mature human being. I have a problem in my love and relation with guys...... maybe it a sin from the past, when someone being honest to love u.... but i just let him down.
Wonder what he`s doing now....... is he married yet or not.!!!?????!!!
I remembered when i was in standard 4, a guy from next class has a crush on me..... The feeling was so.... unbelievable.... u know when u hav less self-esteem, u think urself as ugly duckling and someone has a crush on u. The news was spread all over the school... when i`m in standard 6 the news get even worst, even discipline teacher (Cikgu Ilias) came to my class and ask whose bla...bla..bla..blaa.... to get even more panas telinga...... `Kecik2 lagi dah pandai menggatal.` ...Perghhh menyirap siot.
But i know... who i am... and i thank that guy`s (Shahizan S.) a lot.... because u hav a crush on me..... u make me felt like somebody and u make me appreciated myself. I never did gave any response on his feeling.... i just said `If u like me ...... u have to get 4A on ur UPSR`. Things will happen to be just as what we never planned. At the end I, the only person in my school got 4A and he got 3A1C for English...... he was so sad ... that make him left the school after gettin the result. And he avoiding me at all...... that make me has less chance to meet and talk to him after that day.
I have a regret in my life. And that regret is.... to thank him a lot for liking me..... After i got 4A... i became popular....everyone was eager to find me and to have a look on these brilliant kampung gurl. But i try my best to run away... and sneak out from those annoying crowd. I hate it.......and i hate the most when that guys run away from me. i felt like nobody..... at all.
Now, things gettin diffrent and even better. I`m 25...not so beautiful...but i`m happy with who i am.... confident and honest as a mature human being. I have a problem in my love and relation with guys...... maybe it a sin from the past, when someone being honest to love u.... but i just let him down.
Wonder what he`s doing now....... is he married yet or not.!!!?????!!!
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