DARE to face TOMORROW.....

My life is totally ups and down for the past few week, gonna tune back and trace back where my spirit has gone for a holiday (har3...!!). Hey Ms. spirit, ain't mean nothing when you just walk by here and there, come back to my body, we settle everything together......... kahkahkah....

Problem is something that you have to learn to settle it, if you can't settle that problem then you may run away and save your butt, while ME, why i have to run away when i never did try as hard as i can to settle that problem, everything were just mess completely mess, i will settle it one by one. If i can't settle it then i will run away. Harharhar.................. 

Got to face it........one more biscuit won't hurt me.!!

PS:- When i had a chocolate drink, i will became happy an hyperactive, duuhhh......really fast effect on my body......................

  

SEmalam ......

Semalam i'm having a tea break with MIRA at secret recipe ALAMANDA

Panjang jugak laa dskusi ktrg, bnyk yg aku kena cut,

But the main point is .... having a steady other-half

Kadang2 aku pikir aku nak ada other-half nih,

Kadang2 pikir cam tak ready lagi, mcm menyemak jer kalo ada...har3

Abeh cam no...!!

Ramai org kata yg aku belum jumpa yg betul2 utk aku.....

Ramai gak org kata takyah cari, nnt dia datang sendiri....

Aku memang tak cari, tapi apahal tak dtg2 lg.... hhmmm..wonder..!!!

Ramai org kata muka ko nih garang tak senyum langsung,

Bnyk gak org kata camtu kt aku.... XBF's pun cakap camtu...

Abeh tu takkan aku nak menyengih jerr.... kang org pikir aku nih tak betul pulak....

Aku teringat lagi masa aku thn 90-an, ada drama Jepun pasal sornk pompuan cantik sgt dan mempunyai kerjaya yg sgt establish, tapi satu jer problem dia sbb umur dah lanjut and tak kawen lg. Pompuan nih terlalu perfect sampai lelaki tak berani nak tackle dia. Body dia cantik and tinggi cam model. Pompuan nih gak actually masih dok mengharapkan X-bf dia yg memang hensom and sgt2 matching la dorank nih. Somehow, ader sornk laki yg minat kt dia, tapi muka laki nih memang stok pecah umah laa.... kejer pun tak stabil. Serius muka laki tu memang huduh gler dah la pendek lak tu, apek jual sayur pun ada rupa tau.

At the end of the stori, laki tu cuba nak propose pompuan tu, pompuan tuh reject so laki nih pun kecewa dia blah. Somehow, pompuan tuh terpikir balik kenapa nak reject lelaki tu sbb hanya laki tu jer yg berani proposed dia walaupun dgn penuh bersusah payah, how came kalo laki tuh boleh membahagiakan dia, how came kalo lelaki tuh memang cinta sejati dia. Last2 dia pg kejar laki tuh, sampai tepi jalan and hujan pun turun, dia bg tahu yg dia terima lamaran lelaki tuh........ time tuh laki tu dah gabra sbb dia dh buang cincin propose tuh ntah ke mana, last2 pompuan tu amek skru tepi jln and laki tu sarungkan skru tu kt jari pompuan tuh.... the end

Moral of the story: kalo kita perfect confirm kawen ngn org tak perfect.... mcm yin and yang, moral yg lain tuh korank cari sendiri. So nih lagu promo utk drama tu yg still sampai skng aku minat lg lagu nih......

Raison d'etre

Minggu lepas aku sakit perut yg menyucuk seksgt sbb makan makanan pedas tanpa kontrol, so start minggu lepas aku tak der selera nak makan, berat aku turun balik maybe area 47kg. Time ge open house jer baru aku jamah nasi, sebelum2 tu bantai bubur MCD jer hari2, sbb aku takder mood nak masak. Semalam makan nasi lemak tp amek sambal sikit jer, ptg tu makan dori fish kt secret recipe, arini masak telur campur frankfurter goreng pastu letak cheese ngn sos cili sikit..... kena kawal makanan sekarang nih takut perut aku buat hal lg, then taknak gestrik aku dtg balik....siksa dowh..!!

And for sure dua tiga minggu nih, aku memang LEMAU gler2 nak wat kerjer, lantak ar kalo dornk kt cni asyik tgk aku layan FB, tulis blog or asyik dok baca blog org jerr... suka hati aku aaa!!!. Rasa dah give up sgt2 dan skang tahap berserah jer lah. Tapi lama2 aku pikir.... this is really not me; personally i'm a person who'd love to gain an input and satisfied with what i did, love to take a challenge. Somehow, my master project is full with challenge WITHOUT gaining any INPUT. I do notice that the ability and capability here is still at lowest level, upon stead stool and do nothing i tried my best to overcome it, tried to cover here and there. Find the solution and do the best i can. I tried to stand in front but the situation and surrounding kept pulling me back. RIGHT now... i don't need an idea, all i need is to SETTLE the problem. I heard a lot of idea for the past two years...from very different people and background!! I'm sick of it.... at the end there's only left me, epy and uma to settle everything. Everything on our shoulder and head. You must have guess how mess we're become. 

Bru2 nih supplier hanta chemical lg, dah 3 kali hantar masih dalam bentuk yg difference walaupun num.siri yg sama, nak jer aku mengamuk, tapi relex jer aku ckp baik2 tapi dlm hati aku hanya tuhan jerr yg paham. Dah la nak dapat each chemical tu dekat 2bln baru ada stock. Aku biar jerr chemical tu atas meja, jgn harap nak bg PO, sampai aku dpt exactly yg aku nak. Now i'm gonna teach people how mean i am. Get it or GET OUT....!!! Belum lg part testing yg dah masuk 2 bulan terbengkalai sebab conditioning room kt FRIM rosak. Very goverment.....!!! Dah la seluruh Malaysia nih, testing pulp and paper kat FRIM tu jer....... bengang sgt nih...!!

Pasni saper nak cakap ngn aku.... kira nasib ko tu baik sgt laa kalo tak kena maki.....

Yang Water Rafting ni pun satu hal, last2 minute bukan nak bg tahu tarik diri... bengang aku. Woi, kalo dinghi tu aku bleh kayuh sensorg .... tak hingin aku nak ajak ramai org. Aku pegi sensorg ..... paham!!
HEHE.... mcm org gler plak kayuh dinghi sensorg.........

I'm totally down....

To be sure thats what i've felt for the past two weeks,

I knew i've hurts a lots of people around me because i'm struggling now thats for sure, to gather all my strength.

I thought everything was just fine, but the things gettin' even more complicated now....

I slide on each day, without realise where's my spirit is.....

I tried to smile to everyone but my heart is broken apart....

I tried to think but my head is empty....

Oh god.... please stopped the test you gave it to me, i can't handle it anymore....

I'm weak, only to YOU i can rely..... 

WhEn... I cOOk...

Today we celebrate our friends birthday at bilik siswazah INTROP and i cook chicken macaroni and spagetti and brought along my kuih raya and IZA's bring hers too. Everything was totally LICIN in just about an hour. And then Zatty and Husna coming back from exam, then i realise that i forgot to left some food and moist chocolate cake for them, so during friday prayed, i went back to my house and prepared another chicken macaroni for them and i just thought that i want to clear all my food in the freezer so i prepared another dish which is a chicken porridge with a shitake mushroom. When i taste it .... yummy....add a little bit ketchup (cap kipas udang.)........wallaaa.....

When i bring here to INTROP and some off my fellow friends taste it, they kept adding for more and i was very enjoyed to see their face. A feeling off pleasure when someone appreciated what we are doing even not as professional chef but that was the best effort we can do. I felt released..... all the tense inside me when i make people around me felt pleasure and happy. And i love to cook...........

When i cooked, i dragged myself into some place, with my fresh vegetable with meat with chicken mushroom onion zucchini tomatoes some blackpepper and not to forget the parsley add some cheeze walla its not a rocket scientist...... So when the food is taste good, thats meant i have improve my focus skill and dropped few of my problem, but when the taste is bad .... hahaha ... my focus and concentration is... somewhere.... to the moon or just..somewhere.... harharhar.

Well just to noted something, when i cooked that meant, i was tension.

When i blogging, that mean i have problem with my study

When i shopping, i have problem with someone else or i have extra money

When i bowling-ing, that mean i don't knew what is my problem

When i karaoke-ing, i have a problem with myself

When i facebooking, that mean i cannot settle my problem

When i went on for a vacation, i will hv a problem with money then (i'm a shopping maniac)

When my face is like monster, i hv a problem when people kept giving me the problem

Well, i'm smilling now don't worry. Its a good start for me to settle up all my PROBS....

Till then fella's, and i'd love to wish a happy birthday to Hapis, Yuz, Salmi, Iza and Shu.....

taking with PRIDE or in PREJUDICE way..!!

Raya tahun ni, i think one of the best raya lah which make me POKAI with few of my little cousin came twice and ask for double duit raya...... i just speachless, just kids, what do they know..!!! To make thing even worst my mum and dad buat muka donno jer when kids come and asked for the duit raya .... harharhar. Kesian punya pasal, hulur ler singgit sorank!! Ingat lagi zaman budak2, aku ngn sepupu aku (selalunya ciah ngn ida) pg jalan2 keliling kampung, dapat dua puluh sen jer satu umah, kalo umah org kaya dapat arr lima puluh sen. Sampai pukul 2 ptg, duit yg berjaya di kumpul adalah dalam dua puluh hinggit lebih. Tapi skang dah lain, masa aku spotcheck duit raya sepupu aku si Alia (umur 4thn/bnyk mulut ini org) duit RM10 jer dah ada 8 keping, duit singgit2 seinci tebal dia........ gler ahh..baru first day raya belum pun pukul 2 ptg lg !!!

Zaman dah semakin berubah, kalo dulu air teh ngn sirap jer menjadi hidangan sekarang ... siap air gas ngn air kotak skali (umah sepupu), dan paling pelik umah aku arrr, siap ada air ribena.... berkesan betul iklan ribena kat TV tu sampai mak aku terpengaruh. Rasa cam nak jer perli mak aku..."Laaa ... ingatkan tak reti buat air lain!!" ... tapi lam hati jer lah, takut kena pelangkung lak.... Raya tahun nih senang skit sbb budak2 yg dtg terus aku hulur duit raya siap cakap takyah minum lah yerr..... ge minum umah org lain, bnyk lg umah korang tak pg kan!! Budak2 tu dengar cakap aku lak tu tak melawan langsung, hehehe takyah nak basuh cawan bnyk2, bleh main game dgn senang lenang nyer........yg sepupu2 rapat tu lain lah memang konfirm umah ktrg jd port wayang tgk citer DISTRICT 13.  

But as usual, the most preasure thing is when people kept asking the same question like.....bila nak kawen, bila nak makan nasi kenduri, cik abg tak dtg ker.....???? Hmmm..... i don't know how to express my words or my feeling, the thing is its quiet annoying. I know that the life of human being will complete if she or he has been treasurer into the marriage year... somehow, its all depend on GOD hand, if HE said NOT YET, so who do i to obeyed the command.... thats what lots of people didn't realised. Enought for that.....

I think, its not too late yet, to wish all my friends or maybe my enemy.... a happy hari raya MAAF zahir dan batin.... its hard to forget what other people did to you, but i'm sure i do forgive what other people did to me.......

I learn to take my life with pride ..... not in prejudice way... till then.... chow!!