It was raining outside, and i was stuck in my car..... however i remembered when i was a little kids, the intention to play in the rain, but haven't got a courage because either my mom will lock the door and of coz' the cane is the second present. And then i was thinking, why don't i wrote a poem....
I was CRY... when i see my face in the mirror its really OMG......, I went to the office anyway and reach there at 11 o'clock in the morning, I was so mess and tired after coming back late the other night. Hang around with SHU, Luqman (Student; from indonesia) his friend Darno and Ibad and also Fandra whom just arrived in Malaysia. We played squash at stadium. You must have guess hows my face is....
Everyone was seeing me like unbelievable-face i ever see in them, they'd tried to avoid me...... When i see Zaty asking about her project she ask me...."Kak yat menangis ker..??" .... i was stuck there...and answer NO. And then i went to see my Second Supervisor to inform her about the test that i've reach so far at FRIM, i realize how she was trippin' on words trying to find the best consonance .... (Not to hurt my feeling..!!)... when talking to me...!!
I was just like.... WHAT HAPPEN TO THESE PEOPLE.....???
I'm not crying because of myself....... i'm crying because i'm soo sad seeing the episode of The Little Nyonya...on ntv7. How could they do that to Yue Niang .... She was soo ...... i dont knew what to said. See the drama yourself......Its really GOOD..And ayat dia yg paling berkesan dlm hati aku....... sob...sob...sob......(Harharhar...)
Lebih baik utk hidup setahun dengan orang yg kita cintai,
Daripada hidup 100 tahun dengan orang yg kita tidak cintai...........
My world has totally lost for now, I tried to figure it out…. I’m totally lost for sure, I don’t have mood for anything. And I make a conclusion the situation happen because of few problems that I face. Include about my study, my life and my family.
A few months ago, I had a dream that a big centipede, it really big for me its like a mutant or something came to threaten our FAMILY but my father had kill that creatures until vanished it head, but it still alive and try to threatening my sister but she had a chance to escape and that poor animal attack me and I just stood still without do anything because I’m afraid that creatures will bite me. And now I realize that the most poison part in centipede is …it tail duhh… Allah will guide me..!! I don’t think much about the dream, it just a sign and probably its nothing, just be careful.
But I do hate dreams about snake, eeaauuwwww…….when it bite u, it’s really hurt, the slippery skin….. damn eeaauuwww…….Malay believe that, when you dreamt about snake, that mean you will get married soon, when it bite you, that mean you will get married to the person u with ….at that moment…. Yeah I’ve dreamt about snake few time, and often I run away (har3) because I’m was sooo scared eeaaauuww menggelikan, there’s one dream, a small green snake had bite me on my right shoulder, I was so scared and I asked a scissors from my sister so we do an operation and cut that (poor you!!) snake into two piece. End of the story. Nowaday when I want to go to sleep I always pray to Allah not to dream about snake, b’cos I’m not ready yet…..and it sooo scary (Wonder that’s why I didn’t get married)….harharhar….
About my study, I have to just keep pushing myself… that what I suppose to do. Do the very best for my last scroll because probably there’s no more PHD for me. My family needs me. I have to sacrifice ….. yeah…. Final decision…!!! About my life, there’s nothing interesting. That’s all……
Oppss… one more thing is I read a JANGAN BERPUTUS ASA books from Hamdan Lutfi, reach 400 page there’s another 150 more to go, he said if you have a chance; gave a present to yourself for what have you achieved. So I gave a new re-bonding hair for myself. It’s look good, b’cos when I wake up in the morning, inspired of I see ghost in the mirror, I see a lady which trying hard and have fun in her life…. Har3…
I was release at last, after shruggling with more then 300 page of 1349 page of handbook of pulp, i've found valuable method for my study....i'm sooo overjoyed........cool, will start my labwork nextweek. Hopefully..!! Gotta be a busy week with testing and handsheet makin' at FRIM...... I was a little bit sad when UMA came and said that if we send the notice started these month probably we will grad in 2011. I was really hope to settle everything before JULY next year so i can grad on August......well, bad news right. Whatever....as long as i finish my Master.
Suppost to have a wall-climbing at shah alam tonight, but Exit cancel it coz Macheng have last minute on-call, soooo.... i'm gonna replace it with squash with SHU and LUQMAN. Yeee haaaa.....the things is, my hand is still felt itchy, numb and a little bit hurt when i grab something heavy.... yeah after playing squash few days ago. I'm gonna see what will happen after tonight, maybe i should went for an X-ray..... i'm afraid to see the crack .... hopefully not that worst, stupid imagination.......gurl stop it..!!
Well, i guess everyone has in fact ..... accidently LIKE someone when you didn't realise because of what, why and how. Well i'm in that kind of delusion myself....right now. It STUPID right. It really is..... because when I see everything, it's like i see his face in everything..... is these what we call ANGAU. Duhh...!! Get off from me ....you ANGAU thing..!! Well, i hate him at first place, because i thought that his somewhat like an ARROGANT, well....now it seem like his not.....his pleasantly humble!!!
Yeah stop thinking positive way...just anything negative like probably his gay or something.... yeah see whether that ANGAU will get off from me or not...!! I make a conclution....he's gay.......good for me...!!
