Tuesday, July 22, 2008

My Vocation in Life

ASSIGNMENT 1
(Research Methodoly in Chemistry)
I still can remember when my Standard 1 teacher Cikgu Rosnani asks me what I want to be, and on the sport without thinking I said, I want to be a doctor. Then she asks me again what kind of doctor that I want to be? I gave her a blank and pulse face-rescue-me for that answer.

Life goes by; my interest’s changes as the wind blow me. Sometime I want to be lawyer; next day is to be police inspector, change to business women and to name a few. Until I reach my step to university and studied Forestry, I still don’t know what the best for me. For my parents, they just left the decision on me. They don’t want to push me to be what they want me to be, but at the end I led them down. So for them ‘I guide my own way’.

After finish my Degree, as all my friend did, is to find a job. Got a very hectic and crucial day to find a job, that make me just grab whatever that passes in front of my way. My housemate asks me whether I’m interest to be a research assistant (RA). I reply as, I will try. I have no job, and I have and should try it.

After a year now, the way I handle myself, the way I handle my job and the way I handle people surround me; make me think that these is what I want in life and these is what I wanted to be. My job has train me to be a tough, brave, mature, and independent young lady, that who has a higher respect to herself.

People will think research as no big deal. Just follow what your supervisor said. Yes! It’s true. But what happen if your supervisor is the Director of one institute, such as busy like hell. No time for you, no time for stupid or any tiny mistake. Only stayed two weeks in Malaysia and other week he will travel all around the world. UK, India, Thailand, China, London, Austria…..bla..bla..bla… Sometime you have to follow him in the meeting with Director, CEO, Datuk, Datin, Professor, Doctor, and only you are the one which is “research assistant”.

From the first day I became a researcher, I’ve learn like a kindergarden kids. Learn all sort of chemical, learn how to titrate, learn to try an error-thousand time, and my supervisor always strict us to take responsible for what you’ve done. One mistake, he will mumble and bubbling for the pass 2 hour of the meeting, till your ear and face will become hot and spicy.

Look back to my childhood year, when people ask me what I want to be? I`ll answer it as to be a doctor. What kind of a doctor? Now I have the answers. A doctor which do a research job.

Monday, July 7, 2008

My LoVe one!!!!!

B & Abang



LovE oF My life
Never thought that i will fine you,
Never felt soo secure when we are apart,
Never been happy, as we enjoy life together,
never felt needed as I need u soo much,
Never felt LOVE as i love U soo much....
Mwuah!!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Why Love is sooo.....complicated

I cannot sleep last night.... so my right eye become like bola golf.... bosan pikir pasal cinta... bosan biler pikir ...is these guy are meant for me... what happen when his not???... Damn... i hate it when we have to fall in love and at the end to fall apart.... it hurt and it`s damn hurt. Why guys never appreciate a gurl feeling.? Or does the gurl are blind itself....duh....

I remembered when i was in standard 4, a guy from next class has a crush on me..... The feeling was so.... unbelievable.... u know when u hav less self-esteem, u think urself as ugly duckling and someone has a crush on u. The news was spread all over the school... when i`m in standard 6 the news get even worst, even discipline teacher (Cikgu Ilias) came to my class and ask whose bla...bla..bla..blaa.... to get even more panas telinga...... `Kecik2 lagi dah pandai menggatal.` ...Perghhh menyirap siot.

But i know... who i am... and i thank that guy`s (Shahizan S.) a lot.... because u hav a crush on me..... u make me felt like somebody and u make me appreciated myself. I never did gave any response on his feeling.... i just said `If u like me ...... u have to get 4A on ur UPSR`. Things will happen to be just as what we never planned. At the end I, the only person in my school got 4A and he got 3A1C for English...... he was so sad ... that make him left the school after gettin the result. And he avoiding me at all...... that make me has less chance to meet and talk to him after that day.

I have a regret in my life. And that regret is.... to thank him a lot for liking me..... After i got 4A... i became popular....everyone was eager to find me and to have a look on these brilliant kampung gurl. But i try my best to run away... and sneak out from those annoying crowd. I hate it.......and i hate the most when that guys run away from me. i felt like nobody..... at all.

Now, things gettin diffrent and even better. I`m 25...not so beautiful...but i`m happy with who i am.... confident and honest as a mature human being. I have a problem in my love and relation with guys...... maybe it a sin from the past, when someone being honest to love u.... but i just let him down.

Wonder what he`s doing now....... is he married yet or not.!!!?????!!!