Tiba-tiba rasa kosong......

Tiba-tiba hati aku berasa kosong, seolah2 kehilangan sesuatu,

Perasaan nih lg dasyat dari putus cinta,
Lg dasyat bila time nak cucuk duit tapi baki duit xcukup….
Lg dasyat dari buat experiment tp tak jadi….
Lg dasyat drpd rasa bersemangat nak masak tp bila dah masak… rasa tak sedap

Tiba-tiba rasa cam sunyi semacam,

Rasa cam hidup tak lengkap… rasa cam tak confident….

Seolah2 aku dah kehilangan teman yg paling akrab…
Yang paling memahami aku dan gayaku….

Yang paling tak pernah melawan kehendak aku
Paling slumber ….mcm hidup aku…..

Sedih dan sepi seksgt….Selipar Jamban aku dah putus…


Walaupun harga dia tak semahal mcm kasut crocodile, mcm sandal caspia, kasut converse, highheel VISS, xes n blackhammer, kasut admiral, kasut climb jenama perancis…..
Tp. Sandal jamban tu lah yg paling selalu aku pakai…
Pakai pi shopping time sale,
Pakai nak ge main bowling ngn karaoke,
Pakai time ge library
Pakai time berekreasi, time mandi-manda kt sungai…
Time ada balak, aku pakai masa dating….
Dan paling selalu pakai…time nak pg kerjer …..
Pg kelas jer baru aku tukar pakai kasut converse takut kena halau keluar dewan,
Kalo pakai highheel… nnt jalan bunyi ketak ketuk cam model catwalk lak..!!


Kadang2 malu la jugak…..jln2 mid val ngn sogo pakai selipar jamban
Pg mkn tempat ada kelas …tp pakai selipar jamban
Pakai labcoat, bergaya cam scientist… tp pakai selipar jamban..
Pg mall bergaya cam artis, ngn anteng2 besar….. tapi pakai selipar jamban….
Kadang2 org lelaki selalu usher aku…. Misti dorank tak jadi ngurat sbb aku pakai selipar jamban…

Tapi aku tak kesah…. Sbb aku pakai aper yg aku selesa pakai..
Aku tak ikut kehendak dan kemahuan org lain…
Aku tak kesah org nak kutuk… sbb lam bonet keta aku tuh dah jd cam stor kasut…
Tapi selipar jamban yg beli kt pasar malam tuh jugak yg bg keselesaan kt aku….
Biarlah aper org nak kata…. Sbb kalo aku pakai selipar jamban aku tetap aku..
Kalo aku pakai kasut Jimmy Choo pun aku tetap jugak aku…
Oleh itu aku pilih pakai selipar jamban sbb confirm xmampu nak beli kasut Jimmy choo


Agak2 nya selipar jamban aku tu misti majuk ngn aku…
Sebab aritu aku ada cakap nak beli kasut shcoll kaler merah bata harga RM180…
Dah berangan2 nak jd mcm Dorothy lam wizard of oz….
Supaya aku tak ler rasa malu sgt asyik dok pakai selipar jamban harga RM7 jer….
Tu pasal la kot dia putus….majuk ngn aku….
Agaknya laaaa……… hhhhhmmmmmmm……. :-(

.........bdknakal...........

Separuh Jiwaku Pergi....

I had the most long cough of my life, i think it already reach 20 days since before Aidiladha.....n these is the most wierdess cough because my body temperature is unstable and i felt like terribly ichy when i want to breath, and its like something blocking my lung and there's also like something stuck on my alveolus. Maybe the bacteria has found their host n they love it.... damn it in my lung ...lol...!!

I went to Pusat Kesihatan UPM yesterday and within 2 minute the doctor said I'm fine my body temp is 36degree. I got a bottle of obatbatok..... maybe there's in hurried n me too (rushing for my wallclimbing). I didn't ask twice for what the pakcik told me... all i heard is.... ubat batuk nih tak akan mengantuk ngn mengkhayalkan...... i just like OK..... oooo good news, new invention for obat batok which will not make you felt sleepy. 1 tablespoon/10ml  per 4hours and don't reach until 40ml. So i take 2 tablespoon/20ml because the taste is good n i want it to felt better FAST. I'm OK.... i'm good .... and can climb the wall easily. Nothing happen..

So these morning before send my car for major service, i take another 2tablespoon, then ask Ipin picking me up to the Office.... however within 1hour, i felt....weng weng .... already, its like an alcoholic, halucination and hardly walk to SURAU.... and happily weng weng for another 4hours. When proton called for my car, i just like OK...... probably if i drove .... i can't diffrentiate whether i'm on the road or in the longkang ....huh...... Should check with the bottle when i reach home...... really BAD invention...... Next time doublecheck (advice for myself..!!).

I listen to the radio HOTFM these morning and their topic is about having a SCANDAL.... i was like a little bit mad listening to some idiotism idea. But then i think positive because i didn't married yet, so i don't know the felling of mariage life. But when compare to the phenomenal happen in my Faculty ...the scandal thing!!!.... i just like..... urrggghhh..!!! It just like these, God had made you to the upper level of human being but all you do is put your PRIDE to the very lowest LEVEL........

Yeah...just think POSITIVE...you not married yet, you don't know how they felt...!!

You struggling hard to find you LOVE of your LIFE... then married with her, having a kids, having a bless family......... n when your wife is busied with the kids n household..... you having a SCANDAL outside for fun ....... Yeah COOL........ is these what we called LOVE.....???? How's CHEAP....!!! Am i gonna married with these kind of guy...?? .... May i have the objective answer and the choises too...!!

Listen to these song.... its really touch my heart from the first time i heard it.

Cinta bukan mengajar kita lemah,

tetapi membangkitkan kekuatan...

Cinta bukan mengajar kita mengHINAkan diri,

tetapi menghembuskan kegagahan...

Cinta bukan melemahkan semangat,

tetapi membangkitkan semangat.

-HAMKA-

Tenggelamnya Kapal Van Der Wick

Di...da...di........

Ai ....ya...ya.....

Intensive training with VCD yoga dumble and jogging my thigh was cramped already....

Today had a boulder training at Putrajaya Outdoor Centre.....

In everything we do, we have to have a target... and...

I'm targetting for MY FIRST rock climbing LEAD......

I'm gonna LEAD.....

I read an ANDY CAVE books,

U have to have a strong leg in order to LEAD...

I'll do IT then.....

About STUDY.....

My Supervisor had advised me that you can't wait for the idea to come,

You gotta push n force the idea to come out....

Yeah...with FB n bloggers around.....

Huh......insatiable....!!

Library is better....... chow....

Di da di...di da di da di da di.... di da di....

Slapstick......

Let ME laught for another few minute...more....

 We (me, yanie, k.ina n k.ita) ...went to Aida wedding yesterday at Tangkak Johor. Aida is yanie junior at KMR college also our junior in Fac. Forestry n now they working at Jab. Hutan. I knew Aida for many years as a student in a same faculty n she was Zai bestfriend afterall, i started close with her when we start working as a partimer at Taman Warisan... wake-up early morning with sleepy eye and then memBONCENG her Kamcai before i had my VIVA..... such a sweet memory to remember, she always make a joke to ride my VIVA, yet we never had a chance to do soo.......until now she's gettin' married. Nway.... happy bless MARRIED Aida n hubby.........

Ok the story is like these.... when we reach to Aida's house, Zai n Aida was makin' a joke that they've already taken the sirih prepared for Yanie........ After seeing their face, i was thinking that they are just bluffing with the idea..... Probably some of you guy's had NO idea what i was talking....... it's like these, Malay's Believed that if you take a sirih at SIRIH JUNJUNG on other people wedding, you might PROBABLY gettin married soon..... After Zai and Aida makin' a joke, Yanie with her stern face was just smilling.

And I make a conclusion that yanie n k.ina didn't believe it, it just somewhat an old tradition that had already forgotten by the young modern thinking youth. I want to take it, but i was a little bit shy also afraid that  people will called me patheticallly orthodox.... and thinking, "They have create that Sirih Junjung so beautifully, howcame you just came in the sudden and stole it... it's not good attitude right...." A phrase that i used to calm my heart.

When we going back, about 5km away from Aida house...... K.ina was talking...."Aik ... kuat gler bau sirih.." With my puzzling face, i was watching her digging something in her handbag..... n then Yanie shout...." TADAAAAA......!!" They both burst into laught.........

Damn it lah..... these two MODERN gurl, had stole the SIRIH without telling me, I was totally piss off...... n want to cry too..... "How came you guy's stole it without telling me.... i want to get married too, turn back.... turn back..... i wanna take my SIRIH....." Yanie was histerically laught and said that Zai had manage to slip the sirih into her bag...... K.ina add..."You can't tell other people that you take it.It won't work".... I just ...... FINE......

They were excited with the sirih and started to eat it......... i just don't have mood n pleased myself by saying that K.Ita also didn't take the sirih.... and then K.ita reply...... "Well akak akan kawen bulan 4 thn depan." ......harrrrrrggggghhhhh .... i was shouted, it's look like only me whom played the role of stupid naive gurl......again...!!!!

I ask K.ina..... "can you gave half of the sirih to me"........ somehow Yanie reply....."Mana boleh.... nnt kongsi suami.." They burst into laught again......and saying to each other...not included me, let see whom married next year n whether that theory will work or not..!!........... Haaaaarrrgggggggggggg .....!!

FINE....!! FINE....!! FINE...!!

Saper punya kenduri pasni....... aku nak CURI sirih......!!!!

Sweet Chat Cafe

I was addicted to chocolate drink for the past few days.....

So after went to EVERGREEN Cheras with Iza to find a climbing shoe,

I heading straight to MINES for the tea break....

And had a lust of chocolate drink at sweet chat cafe....

With BIG APPLE doughnut say cheese and green tea flavour.....

The chocolate drink was sooo... rich with chocolate

Its like I ate a large size of cadbury bar...

Chocolate melt with creamy and icecube in the middle ...

and topping with a scoop of Vanilla icecream...

Apart from that.... they gave me a few free voucer for next visit which i gave to IZA

Sound great right....!!!

well IT IS NOT....

The thing is, i was curious with the vanilla icecream..??

There is a little bit taste of DURIAN in it....

Maybe they share the scope spoon with other ice-cream.....

My stomach was like gettin' a terrible war inside....

I was nutralise my body with a lots of water and not to move so much

....its look like i wanna muck.... termuntah....

I tried to search for the website at the voucer
http://www.sweetchatcafe.com.my/

to see what kind of ingredient they put.....

Lucky me, the site is still under construction......

I was smilling NOW.....really is...

Felt like my body temperature was raise and felt cold beneath me....

SERAM SEJUK already....

NOW...!!!!

I was STAND-BY to SPEAD UP as fast as i can to the toilet...

before i thrown up in these bilik siswazah room....

Chow.....

Example of a chocolae drink.....probably it is vanilla ....think positive.....+ + + +

Boring....!!!

I felt like BLANK....

Well, i win the third place for best poster at the conference....

There's nothing bcos' it will be just the beginning...
Not even i care about the money,
To built the NAME n TRUST is more important....
Whatever.......
It'll be just the beginning....

I felt empty again......

Afraid that the thing that we really WANT,

will someday be gone extinctionally....

Afraid to lost someone......

Even more afraid to tell the trust about the feeling.....

I'll just wait day by day ...for his illusion to get off from my head,

But since then, it kept even more stronger.

I don't knew whether he felt the same way like me.....

I don't even want to knew......

And i always make a conclusion it just my own delusion

and to just stayed away and off the road...

You might hurt youself.... someday...someway...

You might just did.....

Concentrated on your study......
It will be just the random note........
The note from my deeply heart....n soul...
The heart which is emptied and still searching
..........for the sense of belonging.