Borink

Hello guys..... i felt soo tired actually.... tapi dah terbantai tido, skang bijik mata dah terbuka luas. I don't know why, but the late 20 decease is really kept over me. I felt so struggle now, nevertheless few people around me is sooo indeed perfect. I guess, yet mine is still...soo...and soo...urgghhh. It just hard to move on. Hope this ramadhan will bring joy and wish for the bright future in my life...... i don't knew if u guys felt the way i felt...is it normal..?? Urrggghhhhh i really need a break...... i need a sand and ocean....blue ocean to be exact, not the one with the black sand, litter everywhere and a muddy teh ais salty water. wakakakkakakaka.... mengada-ngada. Bestnya kalo leh duduk lepak atas kerusi minum fresh orange or air kelapa sambil melihat pemandangan laut lepas......aauuwww....tergedit2 dah ni nak ge main pasir pantai.

Hmmm.... guess what? Today is my first day, berbuka kat umah. Sebelum ni tak pernah berbuka kat umah. I just rotate everyweek berbuka with my family and bestfriend, tmrw i just ask CT to shoo his hubby back to klang so we can have a pleasure time together...akakakkakakaka...clasic!!. Cuma ngan ijan ngn yanie jer belum ada masa nak berbuka sama lg dek kerana kesibukan masing2. Wish this week will be our time together, yanie will be left to continue her master degree at Beijing, soon after raya. I might not be able to send her to the airport. I just pray from afar. I don't knew how to describe my feeling, we've been friend since diploma and all i can said, she just soo special. The feeling is the same, when Exit wanna left for Japan. AArrrgggg...harap muka jer ganasz, tapi hati kuntum..!! Bluek

Bout love..... aku dah pasrah. Nak jadi aper sekali pun jadilah. Walaupun ramai lelaki yg nak keluar ngn aku, like almost every weekend someone ask to date,and i have to lie to them saying i have this program and that program...... i HAte LIE actually but i have too. Aku belum terbuka hati lagi, tgk laaa.... if one day.... aku dah mati kutu nak cari alasan aper, then i just go for it. I just follow the faith....if that is my fate..!! Ok sorry u guys have to read my stupid entry........wakakakakkakaa.

Kadang-kadang, jodoh ni memang tak leh nak tahu, even Khairul Fahmi tu pun leh putus tunang... shock giler kowt..!!!

Saya adalah SAYA...

Wa ni memang kalo orang tak kenal sangat...nampak wa ni macam bijak, berdikari, tegas, berpendirian, teguh intergriti, dan macam2 lagi.....

Tapi kalo lu orang kenal wa sebenar2 nya...wa ni jenis kalut, tak tentu arah, tak tetap pendirian, kdg shot term memory lost, tak pandai masak, malas mengemas, malas basuh baju, suka masak tapi malas skit basuh pinggan, tak pandai simpan duit, kuat makan, kuat berjalan...nak2 pg tempat wa tak penah pegi..... misti wa teringin giler2 nak pegi tempat tu.

Perasaan membuak2 suka berjalan ni gak termasuk lah time wa berekreasi. Wa sanggup habis duit and posa bagai, semata2 nak pegi tempat yg wa tak penah pegi, menyelongkar pulau yg wa tak pernah snorkeling. Merasa xtvt yg wa tak penah rasa. Mendaki puncak yg wa tak penah daki...... wa sanggup menyakitkan badan terutama time trekking sebb wa ni stock malas jogging main redah jer...!!! hehe....

Namun selalunya gunung2 yg perit2 ni wa limitkan dengan satu tahap....sekali jer naik, pasni taknak naik lagi dah......tapi memang la.....naluri tetap pendirian wa ni memang tak leh nak pakai sangat.

SHIT...wa boleh lak rindu nak naik TAHAN......

Sungai Ruil

Rasa sedih lak bila baca berita tanah runtuh kat Cameron Highland. Wa penah duduk kat cna, thn 2004 rasa2nya, time tu merupakan satu kenangan baru dalam hidup wa, bila wa pegi cameron and tido dua malam kat cna, kat Orang Asli Lodge, Sungai Ruil. Selalu ge Cameron sokmo balik hari, tak penah nya ada hati nak tido cna.... arakian lak wa ni jenis tak tahan sejuk tapi bercita2 nak belajar ngn keje kat amareka. Tapi tu angan2 jer kot. Ge Bandung yg takder teknologi belacan pun boleh buat wa gila.... ini kan pulak kalo tak leh makan kepak ayam madu, bendi masak belacan, nasi kerabu telur masin dengan side dish kicap cap kipas udang.

Time wa mula2 pegi tu utk amali dendrologi, masa tu satu batch yg join, adalaa dalam lebih kurang 80 org. Time tu memang kelakar...nak lebih kelakar ada pulak si Ayu batch senior wa, tapi entah macam mana leh join wa punya batch. Ayu ni memang cun melecun la, kalo letak avril levigne, kompom ayu ni boleh tahan cun.... tapi perangai, SABO jer lah. Wa malas lak nak cerita keburukan dia time2 ramadhan ni.... tapi dengar cerita dia ler pembawa onar mencuri duit ktrg lam chalet, siap songlap henset bagai..... ish..ish...wa ni mcm tahap fitnah dah ni. Tapi ramai gak gosip2 liar mengatakan dia yg curi, duit nasi lemak singgit yg jual kat kolej tu pun dia bedal, ish..ish..ish... kesian org jual nasi lemak!!!. Hatta time ktrg semua dah bengang, sambil sumpah seranah bila enset member ktrg pun kena songlap.... ktrg sumpah pencuri tu repeat sem. Nak dijadikan cerita, satu batch tu, semua grad pada waktu dan masa yg sama..... kecuali si AYU.... aduh...wa tak mengumpat, wa hanya bercerita...!!! Heh

Macam2 ktrg buat supaya pencuri tu mengaku, siap ramai2 kumpul baca yassin bagai. Time tu wa respek gak la batch wa Poon, sbb dia tegur budak2 pompuan yg takleh baca yasin temasuk AYU bleh ge sembang sambil gelak2 time ktrg baca yasin. Hadoi..!! Pastu Kijing pun batch ktrg mengamok bila budak2 pompuan ex-matric tuduh budak x-dip mencuri. Wah memang cari nahas laaa...setahu ktrg, batch ktrg ni memang stock selamber jer tinggal barang merata2 maklum leerr dah 3thn bersama, tak penah langsung hilang kecuali la...pemadam, pembaris,pensel tit tit tu selalu la ilang. Terus semua budak pompuan kena beratur kat tepi dewan...kul 1am, kena torture. Bayangkan kul 1am, bapaakkk sejuk dowh... memang 2 org budak pompuan kena resque ke antor ospital sebab pensan kena frosbite eh salah tak tahan sejuk la.... ahahahahha....

Eh ni nak cerita pasal orang asli ker nak cerita pasal ayu ni..... adoi. Tapi wa memang respek la ngn ayu ni, walaupun ramai yg tahu dia ni jahat...dia slumber kodok dia jer mcm takder aper2....... part dia dating paling kelakar..... pg kelas ngn org lain, makan tghari ngn org lain....petang keluar ngn org lain...balik time magrib...kang kul 10 ngn org lain pulak....perghhhhh memang pandai atur jadual...!!! respek2...

OK back to orng asli lodge, mungkin ni initiative kementerian pelancongan supaya para pelancong dapat merasai homestay and tinggal kat kawasan orng asli. Masa wa pegi kursus Pemandu Pelancong Alam Semulajadi setempat, ktrg kena bantai kow2 pasal Ecotourism and Homestay oleh Pak Dak Zack......  berhangen jer wa mandang muka pakdak time tu....Poyo sgt..!!. Kuikui..!! Tapi lama2 wa pikir balik, betul gak kata pak dak tu...... Homestay bukan nya style ko duduk umah ko, aku duduk umah lain atas katil ada kipas ada aircone. Lagi satu masa wa duduk cna, haram satu hapa pasal org asli tu pun wa tak tahu. Baca paper baru2 ni sedar.... suku semai rupernya....sikit pun wa tak menghayati apa itu org asli.

Nampak sangat pengeksploitasian manusia upon certain culture is more based on economic value. Few month back, i have chance again to stay in this lodge, the feeling is still the same, is this the real orang asli kampung, with over used of the resource, bnyk kawasan2 sekeliling ditarah untuk membina rumah..... few of the area along the main road has been construct and built for fully utilized of that area..... to educate those orang asli for a better modern life...... they might never realise that some of this orang asli technology is even better then us. We never knew that...!!

PS:- Camner nak tahu pacat tu jantan atau betina......



GreAT ExPectaTion ~ KiNaBaLu

"Ask no questions, and you'll be told no lies." ~Great Expectation, Charles Dickens~

Its suppose to be one of enjoyable vacation before fasting season. Somehow its became more like a college trip or and Trip Amali utk kelas kat faculty.....OMG..!! I might broke the first vacation RULE's, choose ur vacation friend. I learn my lesson for now....wwuuuhhhooooo...choose the MATURE one, not the one whom like to argue with no reason.

Overall, this trip is awesome, great then it expected and happening. Some of my friends here is the one whom climb Mt. TAHAN with me, so we knew each others quite well included the bad behavior and weird nature. Wakakakakakakaka......they really brighten my day. Its more like we gathered again somehow to climb a difference mountain. This time, How far the journey will take is not anymore our main concern, The altitude is the most fear endeavour. The most frighten moment yet soo desirable to be reach to.

This is my third time climbing Kinabalu..... i wish this is my last here. Ok not included Via Ferrata.... will climb that route oneday, with more mature people, easy to merge and mingle around. Kababoommm... ahahahaha...!!! Its quite an experience for me, Its good to see the mountain. I guess there is too many people climb Mt Kinabalu then Tahan, somehow the trail is absolutely well manage with less and severe damage. Wonder how they do that. The impact should be even worse i guess, with climbing competition and porter with heavy weight around almost everyday. The view is superb. Alway spectacular. I experience one moment along the trail, when a porter, a girl around 25 years old wear a tudung.... climb up with some supply to the restaurant at Laban Rata. Came along behind her.....her mother with even more big heavy burden. She looks old.....and then follow by their old father.....around 60 years old with a big gas in his shoulder. I'm speechless........ in my mind, i just felt how lucky i am.

We climb this mountain via Mersilau, with the new route which even shorter. I remember have an experience survey the nephenthes species at the old Mersilau trail......if we start climb from this route.....aiyoyo....boleh sumpah seranah jugak..!!! The old trail is even beautiful with lots of staircase along the hill, surround by a difference nephenthes species. There is one trail, u have to climb ziq-zaq-ing along the hill......the view is so nice compare to the new route alas even longer then the new one...!! We stayed at Sutera Sanctuary Resort, Bishop Head Resthouse.... Mersilau situated at highes elevation then the junction to summit from timpohon trail. I forgot to take note... my mistake..!!! As i remembered we have to climb up and down to reach the junction.  

End it

Nak melepaskan sesuatu yg tak pasti, memang sukar.
Tapi terpaksa gak mencari jalan penyelesaian or kata putus.
Its like, its been a year this thing happen.
Actually memang dah lama aku nak cari kata putus,
Tapi disebabkan aku dah nekad nak ge Naik Gunung Kinabalu and i don't want even a small thing can effect my climbing, therefore i take a second step to just think again after my climbing.

I think this kind of relationship....... i don't knew how to describe.
I just don't knew how to THINK anymore.
More and more things became complicated and its hurt me.
And he still stood there and do nothing.
Which even hurt me badly.
There's no one i told bout this except to HIM.

I respect his will.
Therefore my action is conjuction to his will and needed.
All i need, i just need brave and strength.....
I'm always think to just run away and left everything behind.
But its always not my intergriti to do so.

Yup...i just need strength.
Its ok to left something which is not belong to you.
When a guy love a gurl, he will take care of that women.
I can't felt it in him....
~pen off~

“Boleh jadi kamu tidak menyenangi sesuatu padahal itu baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi kamu menyukai sesuatu padahal itu tidak baik bagimu. Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak. ( Al-Baqarah 216 )”

MATANG

Kematangan kadang-kadang perlu dibayar dengan konflik diri yg maha hebat. Insyaallah aku akan belajar untuk tabah dan bersabar. Kadang-kadang manusia selalu berlaku tidak adil dengan manusia yg lain. Memang lumrah mungkin. Mencari hebat diri dengan kadar menjatuhkan orang lain. Mencari bagus megah hati dengan cara mengecilkan yg lain.... Aku hanya mampu ketawa, semoga berjaya menjatuhkan aku. Good Luck ya'. Aku sentiasa terbiasa berdiri dengan kaki aku sendiri, dan aku pastikan jati diri aku teguh terpacak, lebih teguh dari yg lain dgn intergriti aku sendiri. Aku hanya manusia, aku bnyk salah, aku bnyk dosa, bnyk benda jahat aku dah berjaya buat. Namun ia tidak menghalang aku mencari kebenaran yg SATU. Biar lah manusia menilai, namun kadang2 aku kasihan. Manusia mungkin tidak sedar, mungkin tidak perasan, mereka asyik terlalu asyik meludah kelangit. Sangat pelik melihat ludah itu jatuh kemuka mereka dan mereka biarkan. Hmmmm......kasihan tapi menjijikkan. Nak muntah, tapi aku terpaksa tahan....demi menjaga maruah manuasia yg bernama makhluk Tuhan. Hmmmm......Tolong laaa.....Tolong la berprinsip yg munasabah....jgn berprinsip yg macam sampah....!!! Aku tgh marah, baik aku ambil air sembahyang dlu...!! ADIOS